


Everything Is Magical

by spacepanda101



Series: Colliding Universes [2]
Category: SKAM (Netherlands), WTFock | Skam (Belgium)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Baking, Childhood Friends, Cooking, Crush, F/F, Friends to Lovers, Healthy, Instagram, Mental Health Issues, Social Media, Texting, The Netherlands, lockdown - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:20:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 23,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27670580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacepanda101/pseuds/spacepanda101
Summary: Just before she moved over the border, Noor developed a crush on her best friend. On a stroke of boredom, and with the magic of the internet, they find each other again and try to rekindle their friendship. But the crush is just a thing of the past. Right?(spin off from The Foot Of The Bed - the first half makes more sense if you've read it but it should still stand without)(also I suck at blurbs I'm so sorry)
Relationships: Noor Bauwens/Engel Beekman, Sander Driesen/Robbe IJzermans
Series: Colliding Universes [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2023346
Comments: 8
Kudos: 18





	1. Zondag

**Author's Note:**

> Long time no see! This is the reason I've been a little M.I.A these past few weeks - a brand new, sparkly, sapphic fic! I'll be uploading everyday for the next two weeks as well, aren't you lucky!?  
> The title is from Jeremy Messersmith's song, [Everything Is Magical](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_y-j-FXuOQ)  
> This fic has stressed me out beyond all means and I have no idea why I thought I could write it in a week. But alas, here you are - I really hope you enjoy it and please let me know your thoughts!

[12/04/20 Zondag 13:39]

[engelbeekman followed you]

**_engelbeekman:_ ** __

_ hey, i don’t know if you remember me but we went to school together before you moved to belgium. I didn’t realise you had instagram! _

[noor.bauwens followed you]

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ how could i forget the girl who threw a milkshake over me? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I didn’t do it on purpose omg - I got knocked! And it wasn’t all over you, it was just a little bit on your shirt. And i said sorry! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 😉 _

_ I’m just messing with you. Of course i remember you! How are you? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Good. i think lockdown’s given me more of an excuse to go out in nature and exercise but I really miss my friends and parties and going to yoga classes and shopping! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Ugh you’re not one of those are you? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ One of what? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You know, super into fitness, shows everyone up on being healthy… _

_ Omg i just saw your instagram. You are 😱 _

_ How could you!? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Well it’s really important to be healthy and make sure you get the right nutrients so that you don’t get fat! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Surely that’s not the only benefit? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Of course not! You need it for healthy skin and hair as well. Like sweet potatoes have beto carotene that’s an antioxidant that protects your skin from sunburn and wrinkles! And you need to eat plenty of protein so that your hair doesn’t get dry - that’s what liv says! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Liv? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Oh that’s right, you won’t know her. She’s @livreijners - she’s so pretty and has a really hot boyfriend and is really good at singing! You should listen to some of her songs! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ “Hot boyfriend” 😏 _

_ But cool. I'll check her out later. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Anyway. How are you? How’s your lockdown been? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Good i suppose. I’m really glad i went to a kso over here - the lockdown work’s way more fun than my ex’s _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Your ex? You still talk even though you’re not together? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Yeah, it was complicated but we’re still good friends. He goes to a “normal” school so he gets a lot more written work. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ What kind of work do you get? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ It’s a lot more practical. Like my drama class we’re working on a zoom play. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ You can’t learn a lot from that though can you? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You’d be surprised. We’re writing the script so there’s Dutch there, if it’s a historical text we have to research the history, selling tickets is economics… you learn everything, but it’s fun! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I suppose i never thought about it like that… _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 💁♀️ _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ So what are you doing on this play? Are you acting? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ No, it’s set on a different planet so i’m looking into how people can dress up their backgrounds to make it look cool _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Ooh can i try? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Making your zoom screen look like you’re on a different planet? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Yeah!  _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Sure! You can be my trial run! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

**_😁_ **

_ What do you research for it? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I’ve so far been looking at different countries and landscapes and what colours and shapes make it different. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Cool. i can’t wait! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ What kind of work have you had? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Oh nothing interesting like that. Just maths, Dutch…  _

_ I’ve been baking and cooking a lot though! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Oh? _

_ Did you make banana bread? 😆 _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Oh that’s easy. I’ve been finding ways to make it more nutritious though by adding different things like blueberries and courgette. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Courgette?? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Yeah, I thought it was weird too but you can’t taste it at all and it’s really high in protein! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Did you make any today? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Not banana bread - I made that on Wednesday on zoom with Liv and Esra. But I found a recipe for garden focaccia so I made that today! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Garden focaccia? Can I see?? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

[sent an attachment]

_ It’s so easy to make! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 😲 _

_ Wow, that looks amazing!! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Oh! I could show you how to make it! It’s really easy and we can face time and make it together! _

_ If you want to though. _

_ You don’t have to if you don’t want to! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Uh yes please. _

_ I need to keep proving that I’m having a better lockdown than Robbe. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Robbe? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ My ex, sorry. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Ah okay. Are you having a competition? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Kinda? He’s been cooking quite a bit for his mama and she’s not dead yet so I can only assume it’s going well. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Well I can certainly make you a better cook!  _

_ We could do it every week and do a new recipe each week!  _

_ Oh and if we do it on zoom, you can test your background things at the same time! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Yeah okay then, I could do with some company. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

**_😁_ **

[13:53]

_ I have to go make lunch for my mum now but it’s been nice chatting with you again! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You too! _


	2. Maandag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place on Sander's birthday 2020.

[27/04/20 Maandag 19:40]

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ How did it go? Did he like it? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ He loved it! I just wish we could’ve done it in person. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ And of course, no one to thank… _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Not at all. _

_ No i’m kidding - thank you so much! I would’ve just given him another bowie shirt. _

_ I owe you. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ No you don’t! You’ve been letting me show you new recipes every week. If anything, it’s me paying you back! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I’m not letting you. I want to. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 😊 _

_ Let me know if he makes anything with it though! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I will. But he’s probably pining over robbe now so i’ll probably message him tomorrow. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ That’s your ex right? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

**_👍_ **

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ How is he? It’s been a while since you’ve mentioned him _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Fine I suppose. _

_ He and Sander are so clearly into each other it's almost sickening. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Wow your life is like a teen drama show lol _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Says miss “i slept with my best friend’s boyfriend before she did just to get the whole virginity thing over with” _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

**_🙄_ **

_ You’re just jealous _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ About? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ That i got laid before you? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Who says that’s true? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ You did? You said robbe didn’t want to have sex with you. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Because he’s gay. He’s not the only person i’ve been with _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Wait, who else? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I had a proper boyfriend the summer I moved here. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

**_😯_ **

_ Name??? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Timo. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ What happened? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ He moved to bruges. It’s not that big of a deal tbh _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ What do you mean not that big of a deal? He was your first boyfriend! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ And not my last. Engel, he’s just a boy. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ But he’s still the only person you’ve slept with. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Nope! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ But you said… _

_ Wait! Are you a player? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Wow, chill. There were a few people I had some things with but nothing serious. I wouldn’t call that player behaviour _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Have you ever had a one night stand? _

_ There’s nothing wrong with that btw. _

_ Isa had one once. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I mean I’ve kissed guys and girls at parties but not any further than that. _

_ Besides, didn’t you say you kissed noah (?) after talking to him for 10 minutes? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 😤 _

_ He kissed me! _

_ But wait - girls?? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Yeah. _

_ Do you have a problem with that? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ No, no! Not at all! _

_ I mean I made out with Isa once, we all drunkenly make out with girls sometimes. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Would it be a problem if I wasn’t drunk? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Are you lesbian? _

[19:47]

_ It’s fine if you are btw.  _

[19:51]

_ Or bi - that’s the B right? _

_ Or there’s pan as well or queer, that’s a label right? _

[19:53]

_ To be honest, sometimes I do wonder what it’s like to kiss a girl. _

_ Or I mean… Not drunk. I remember kissing Isa was quite nice. Maybe it’d be nicer if we weren’t drunk. _

[19:57]

_ Noor? _

[19:58]

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Sorry. _

_ My dad just called me. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Oh okay. I hope I didn’t make it awkward. _

_ It’s fine if you’re into girls - Janna’s into girls as well so it really is okay. _

_ Are you? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 👍 _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Cool! Do you know which label you are?  _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Pretty sure I’m bi but 🤷♀️ _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Cool! _

_ Does anyone else know? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Robbe and sander do. My school friends don’t but we’re all a bit gay tbh. _

_ No one else though. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Not your parents? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I haven’t told them but I don’t think they’d care though. They’re pretty chill with that kinda thing. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ That’s good then! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ But let’s talk about you wanting to kiss girls huh? _

_ Was that real or just? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ No it was real.  _

_ Idk I’ve been thinking about it a bit recently. There haven’t really been any guys I’ve been into since Noah… _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ But there’s been girls? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Well I wouldn’t say I’m into them but I think I’ve been noticing them more than boys. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Are you lesbian? _

_ 😉 _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 🙄 _

_ Noor! _

_ I don’t know. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ That’s okay. You don’t have to know! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I know. Thank you! _

_ And thank you for telling me. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 👉👉 _

_ It’s nice to tell someone else I guess. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 😊 _

_ Anyway, my mum’s just come home so… _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ How is she? _

[20:08]

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Sorry. She’s okay. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Okay? _

[20:15]

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Can i call you? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Now? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Yeah _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Go for it! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love comments! :)  
> Follow me on Twitter for updates!
> 
> [@spacepanda1011](https://twitter.com/spacepanda1011)


	3. Dinsdag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This takes place at the same time as the 2nd part of chapter 9 of The Foot Of The Bed

[28/07/20 Dinsdag 12:47]

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

[sent an attachment]

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Ooh are they all your friends!?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_The ones from KAB yeah._

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_They look nice! Is one of these Emma?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_No, different set of friends. Emma goes to my school._

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_KAB. So that's Robbe and Sander right?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_Just Robbe. Sander's at uni._

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Okay…_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

[sent an attachment]

_This is my school friends._

[sent an attachment]

_This is KAB friends + Sander_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Okay. Is Emma the one with the short brown hair?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_👍_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Aand Sander's the one with bleached hair? And Zoe's the girl with bleached hair?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_👍_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Wow he's hot. And she's so pretty._

_They both are._

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_Ikr?_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_I know I said I’m not into guys so much anymore but wow._

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_Don’t let robbe hear you saying that!_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_😯 Are they finally together!?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_No but they should be_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Ah. And Zoe?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_She has a boyfriend. Like a Boyfriend™️._

_And I think she’s straight as well._

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_🙄_

_Typical. All the hot ones are straight or taken. Or will be taken._

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_🙋_

_Hello??_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Apart from you of course!_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_Thank you._

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_It’s just a 4 hour train journey separating us!_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_😓_

_How was that coffee cake btw?_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Oh! Let me ask him!_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_Ask who? Did you not eat it?_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_No. I figured the carrot cake would be enough sugar for me and mum this week so I gave it to Lucas._

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_✋_

_Okay this is a new name. Who’s Lucas?_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_He’s friends with Isa. Or i don’t know if they’re friends anymore - they don’t hang out that much. But he’s friends with Kes, Is’ ex._

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_And you say my life’s a teen drama show_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Yeah I suppose there was a bit of drama there._

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_Ooh tell me! Life’s been way too boring around here._

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_I don’t know the details but Is thought Kes was cheating on her but he was just doing drugs and didn’t want to tell her but because she thought he was cheating on her, she cheated on him. And lucas apparently had a crush on Is and fucked it up but he matched with Ralph on grindr so maybe he’s gay and had a crush on Kes._

[12:58]

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_Wow that was a novel 🤯_

_And weirdly familiar._

_Robbe was telling me a similar story._

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_😆_

_Which part did he play?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_Lucas I think. He had a crush on his best friend and fucked up his relationship._

_Should we be talking about this behind their backs?_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Probably not._

_But I won’t tell anyone, don’t worry!_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_I suppose secrets don’t count for best friends._

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_We’re best friends?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_We’re not?_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_I just didn’t know how far we have to get to know each other before we can be best friends again._

_We haven’t even hugged!_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_I don’t think there’s any rules on it._

_And_

[sent an attachment]

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_What’s that?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_It’s me hugging you!_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_🥰_

_I miss you._

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_I miss you too._

[13:00]

[Chat with vanderheijden.lucas]

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Hey!_

**_vanderheijden.lucas:_ **

_Hey._

_Oh, thanks for the cake btw!_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Ooh that was what I was going to message you about! How was it?_

**_vanderheijden.lucas:_ **

_It was good!_

_The icing was really nice and it worked well with the sponge._

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_That’s great! Noor was saying that I should make the sponge less sweet considering the icing._

**_vanderheijden.lucas:_ **

_Who’s noor?_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Oh you won’t know her. She’s my friend from elementary school. We’ve been cooking together every thursday over zoom and last week we made that coffee cake!_

**_vanderheijden.lucas:_ **

_Okay. Well it was really nice. If you have anymore leftover cake, send them this way!_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_😊_

[13:06]

[Chat with noor.bauwens]

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Good news - he liked it!_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_That’s great!_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Turns out you were right with the sponge!_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

**_💃_ **

_I try my best._

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Well I think it’s your turn to pick what we make this week!_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_Okay!_

_We’ve baked a lot so why don’t we make dinner?_

_Pasta maybe?_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_What like make it from scratch?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_Yeah! It doesn’t look too hard. Just flour, egg. and water._

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Okay!_

_Do you want to find a recipe for pasta then I can find one for sauce?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

**_👍_ **

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Oooh i can’t wait!_

[13:04]

_Are you doing anything interesting now?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_😏 wouldn’t you like to know?_

_Sorry, I’m at the park with KAB lot_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Oh did you just take that picture then?_

_What kind of park has a swimming pool?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_👍_

_Boekenbergpark does._

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_You look like you’re having so much fun!_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_It’d be better with you!_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_I’m jumping on the train right now!_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_I wish you could._

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_I wish I could too._

_We’ll meet again one day. When it’s all over._

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_Promise?_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_Promise!_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_😊_

_Also I need to go now._

_But I’m holding you to that promise!_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

**_🤞_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to hear your thoughts!  
> Follow me on Twitter for more updates!
> 
> [@spacepanda1011](https://twitter.com/spacepanda1011)


	4. Woensdag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a short one but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless!

[09/09/20 Woensdag 12:47]

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You back to school yet? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Yep! Went back on Monday! _

_ You? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Yeah, can't believe I'm saying this but really missed it! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I'm screenshotting that for during exams _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Hey! I mean it! I do genuinely like this school! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 🙄 _

_ Sure… _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ For real! I'd much rather have to choreograph a dance recital than learn economics _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I guess so… _

_ I don't mind school. I know Isa's already lost momentum but I'm enjoying it. We're looking at universities now. _

_ I can't decide if I want to stay in Utrecht or leave. _

_ Or what to study! _

_ Do you know what you’re doing? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 🤷‍♀️ _

_ I think i’d like to leave antwerp though. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Don’t you like it there? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ No i do,and i love my friends here but it’d be nice to have a fresh start. I’ve not had a single lasting relationship so that doesn’t help I suppose. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ You and me both! _

_ Do you know what you want to study? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Probably something arty. I’m half tempted to do graphic design and give Sander a run for his money but i kinda enjoy drama as well so idk. _

_ What about you? Any ideas? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I know my mum would want me to do some sort of business i think. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ What do YOU want to do though? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

**_🤷‍♀️_ **

_ I’ve really enjoyed cooking and baking over lockdown but i don’t know if i can study that. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Aren’t there cooking schools? Or you could study food science or health or something? Like nutrition? That’s a subject right? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Yeah… I don’t know if I want to sit exams in that though. I just want to cook! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Maybe you could do both - like study nutrition, it’s science so there’s money there, and get better at cooking alongside. You could open your own cafe! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

**_😮_ **

_ That’s an amazing idea! I could make a healthy-eating cafe and make tacos and salads that are healthy AND tasty! Oh! And you could design the menus and I could get Liv to sing for when we open. And she’ll be super famous by then so we’ll get so many customers! _

_ 😁😁 _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 😘 _

_ I’m glad I could help! _

_ I’ll definitely be giving Sander a run for his money in this case 😆 _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Why? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 2 of his friends at the academy are working on opening a milkshake bar and he’s designing for them. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Milkshakes huh? Well you’ll definitely be at the healthier one! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Yeah but milkshakes. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Do they do smoothies as well? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Aren’t smoothies equally as bad? They’re full of sugar from all the fruit. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Oh, smoothies aren’t as healthy as people say they are. Like you said, particularly the fruity ones, they’re full of sugar. It is fructose though and natural sugars so it’s not so bad, but it’s still sugar. And because all the fruit’s been blended up you lose the fibre and nutrients from the skin and pulp. But it’s still a lot healthier than blending up chocolate bars and ice cream that have no nutrients in the first place. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ So a nice treat huh? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Yeah! They’re a healthier treat than milkshakes. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I think you’ve just found what you should study 😆 _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 😳 _

_ Sorry. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Wtf, don’t apologise! _

_ Engel seriously, I would pay you to be my nutritionist. And I wouldn’t pay my friends for a lot of things. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 😆 _

_ But I know I talk too much sometimes. Or type. That’s what Imaan said. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Okay, I don’t know who Imaan is, but don’t listen to her. _

_ I love hearing you talk! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 😊 _

_ Thank you _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You know what, I’m going to prove it. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ How? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I was going to call you right now but I’ve got to go back to class soon. _

_ I’m calling you tonight and I won’t hang up until you get sick of me listening to you. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ You don’t have to do that. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I know. _

_ I want to. _


	5. Donderdag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the slight delay in getting this out today but I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for the love so far!

[Donderdag 03/12/20 13:08]

**_engelbeekman:_ **

[sent an attachment]

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Where’s that!? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ My new job! I’m working at the Christmas Market stall for a big bakery here! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You look so cute! _

_ 😍 _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I love it! I’m surrounded by sweet smells all day long and i get to dress up really christmassy too! The things we sell aren’t very healthy - I’ve tried telling the owners how they can make them healthier but they’re not listening. But we have low calorie cupcakes and flapjacks too so they’re not too bad for you. You really shouldn’t eat the cake slices because they’re so full of sugar and carbs, but the flapjacks are a healthy balance of everything _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You’re doing a great job selling them! 😆 _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ What? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You probably don’t want to tell customers not to buy your products, even if they’re not good.  _

_ I hate that i can’t tell people that the dress they’re buying looks horrendous on them but i want to keep my job. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Where do you work? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ C&A _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 😯 _

_ Seriously? _

_ I love that store! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Well you know what to expect for christmas then! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 😮 _

_ Yes please! Do you get a discount? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ It wouldn’t be worth working there if i didnt. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Oh. Is it that bad? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 🤷♀️ _

_ Could be worse but I’m at the store on the meir so we get loads of different kinds of customers. _

_ Don’t you get weird people at the market? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ It’s my first day today and so far we’ve been alright. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Don’t let rude customers change who you are Engel! You’re an amazing human being! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Wow, do you think they’ll be that bad? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Can I not just compliment you? _

_ But also yes. I’ve seen the christmas market here and you get some awful people. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ You can _

_ What else is great about me? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Always looking for a compliment huh? _

_ Well you’re super pretty and the cutest christmas elf, you’re the kindest person i know, you’re a literal angel, you’re the only person I know that could rock pink that well, your hair always looks amazing… you want me to go on? _

[13:19]

_ Engel? _

_ Fuck that was weird wasn’t it. _

_ Sorry.  _

_ You’re super cool. _

_ I meant that all platonically. _

_ That’s even weirder. _

_ I’m just going to stop now. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Hey, sorry. It’s not weird. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You sure? _

_ You can say it was weird, that’s fine. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I mean it’s new but… _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ But weird? _

_ Sorry. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ No, not weird. _

[13:21]

_ It’s just my dad just called. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Oh. _

_ Fuck that makes me sound so selfish. _

_ What did he want? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ It’s not selfish at all! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ If you don’t want to tell me that’s fine you know? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ It’s just… _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Just? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ You know the thing with mum _

_ Well it’s kinda getting worse slowly, and he’s trying to help but it’s a bit pointless. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ How so? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Well he lives in Australia now. He wants me to come live with him so I’m in a stable environment when I graduate. But he’s only just started saying this so it’s only going to be worse if I move school, let alone country, 5 months before my exams. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Do you think you will? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I hope not. I’ve been handling it alright and when she’s sober, she’s able to explain to people that i do quite a lot of the housework. So i think i’ll be fine. _

_ But he keeps trying to call so we can have a proper conversation about it. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Isn’t he only there temporarily? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

**_💁♀️_ **

_ Exactly! Another reason why it’s so silly for me to move! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I wish I could come over and help _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ You help by just being you _

_ And being there. _

_ And letting me talk to you and text you and show you my recipes _

_ Thank you _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 🥰 _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I suppose it could be worse _

_ They could be actually separated. _

_ At least I know he’s coming back _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ There you go! Always a bright side to everything! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Yeah and he’s eager for me to move away from Utrecht for uni as well _

_ He keeps sending me emails for schools in Australia _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You’re not going are you? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

**_🤷♀️_ **

_ They do look quite cool… _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Nooo! It’s already hard being one country away from you! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 😆 _

_ I’m just joking _

_ Australia looks cool but I don’t think my English is good enough _

_ And they have big spiders so… _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 💁♀️😆 _

_ Have you thought about where you want to go yet? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Amsterdam have some pretty good nutrition courses and it’s not too far away _

_ What about you? They have some good art and theatre schools there _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Yeah maybe! Haven’t looked at Amsterdam yet but I’ll give it a shot _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ We could get a flat together! It’d be cheaper that way and we can cook actually together and not just over zoom! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ That sounds amazing _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Yeah? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Yeah! You’ve convinced me. Amsterdam it is! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ You haven’t even looked at the schools yet! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I don’t have to _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_You sure?_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I’m kidding I definitely do. You wana keep me company while I do?  _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

**_🤣_ **

_ I wish I could but I have to go back to work! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 🙄 _

_ Go to work and I’ll update you when you finish! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 🥰 _


	6. Vrijdag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again sorry this is a little late in the day. And also sorry it's a little short. I promise more lengthy content is coming next week!

[Vrijdag 12/02/21 12:16]

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Are you doing anything for Galentines day? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Valentines you mean? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ No, it’s galentines! It’s valentines, but just for girls! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ So a gay valentines day? One for the sapphics of the world? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ No! Although i suppose they can take part if they want, it’s a ladies’ day. Girls celebrating girls - all that stuff! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You actually celebrate that? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Is it not big in belgium? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I don’t think it’s big anywhere but america _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Oh… _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ We don’t need a special day to celebrate each other, but even if we did, we got international women’s day so… _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Okay. it’s just me and isa and janna are all getting together to get fries to celebrate it and i thought it’d be nice if you could join in too. Virtually. But if you don’t want to that’s okay. _

[12:24]

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ It doesn’t need to be galentines or valentines to hang out with me - you can do that anytime! _

_ You out right now? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I guess it’s just an excuse to hang out. _

_ And no. _

_ Why? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Well get your shoes and coat and let’s go on a date! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ A date? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Yeah, an early, “galentines” date! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Okay, well if it’s a date then i’ll have to go get changed. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I’m sure you look perfect the way you are! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

[sent an attachment]

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

**_😬_ **

_ Maybe just brush your hair but you look 🔥 _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ But if this is a date, i want to look more than 🔥 _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Fine.... you got 5 minutes. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ What are you wearing? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

**_😏😏_ **

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Not like that. You know what i mean! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

[sent an attachment]

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Wow you look so hot! _

_ In that jacket. _

_ That jacket looks hot on you. _

_ Good. _

_ Nice _

_ Is what I meant to say. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

**_😏_ **

[12:34]

_ You ready yet? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ How's this? _

[sent an attachment]

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 😍 _

_ 🔥🔥 _

_ Beautiful _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 🙄 _

_ For real though, come on _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Why would I lie about that? _

_ You're beautiful _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 🙄 _

_ Thank you. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Where are we going then? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Uhmm… milkshakes? _

_ For old times' sake? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Milkshakes it is! _

_ How far are you going? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ About half an hour. _

_ There's only one milkshake bar that does smoothies nearby. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Smoothies!? _

_ No, you said milkshakes. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I know. Smoothies are just a healthier version though. And I had Nutella on my toast today bcs we need to get rid of it so I've had my snack for the day. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Engel. _

_ You're not going to get fat or become drastically unhealthy from some Nutella and a milkshake. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Yeah but I’m going for fries tomorrow as well _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ And that can count for tomorrow! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ And I baked another cake this week. _

[12:42]

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Okay _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Okay? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Yeah - smoothies can be pretty good I suppose _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 🤯 _

_ Where did this come from? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 🤷‍♀️ _

_ Can I not also like smoothies? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I guess _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Just because milkshakes are gay and I’m a little doesn’t mean it’s all I drink! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Who says milkshakes are gay? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Sander. _

_ And Robbe (obvs) _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 😆 _

_ Alright. _

_ You sure smoothies are okay? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Whatever you’re comfortable with _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 🥰 _

_ Thank you _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Let me know when you get there! _

[17:15]

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I just got back home! _

_ Thank you again! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ My pleasure _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I really enjoyed that. We should do dates more. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ We should. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I miss your voice _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 🥰 _

_ But I miss your voice too. _

_ Do you want to call? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I thought you’d never ask! _


	7. Zaterdag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may have made more sense to post the Sobbe chapter tomorrow but hey ho here we are

[22/05/21 Zaterdag 22:25]

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Hey, when does school finish for you? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 25th June. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ That was fast. Are we excited? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You have no idea. _

_ I love my school, but can’t wait for some holiday. _

_ Why you asking? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Mum’s therapist said that she should try this 1 week course at an institution in Amsterdam. _

_ And she wants to go. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ That’s great!  _

_ Robbe’s mama went to an institution for 3 months and he says it helped a lot. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ That’s cool. _

[22:33]

_ Do you want to come stay with me? _

_ I don’t want to be on my own and none of my friends here know that much about her. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

**_😮_ **

_I'm offended that you feel the need to ask!_

_ Of course! I’d love to! When? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ From 5th july. That’s a monday. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Should be okay - give me a sec _

[22:36]

_ Oh. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Is that a problem? It’s okay if you can’t. I’ll manage. I could ask Janna. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Let me get back to you on that. _

_ I definitely want to come. I want to see you in person! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 👍 _

[22:37]

[Chat with earthlingoddity]

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Sander, i may have a problem. _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ What? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Engel’s invited me over to stay at hers. _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ I don’t see the problem? _

_ Also robbe’s here - he says that’s great news. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ It’s the same time as the japan trip. _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ Oh. _

_ Amber’s going to be mad - R _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I know! And I really want to go! _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ But Engel's right there - R _

_ ^^ _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I know… _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ Without you we're still a group of 10 so we'd still get group discount - R _

_ Wtf Robbe!? _

_ What? That's what amber will worry about most - R _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You mean Luca? _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ I suppose but amber's organising the trip so… - R _

_ Wait, why Luca? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ She said the same thing when you didnt turn up for the beach trip. _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ Right. _

_ But come on Noor - you've literally been handed a perfect chance! Japan's always going to be there. We can go again next year - R _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I suppose… _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ Robbe's right. You don't always get these chances. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Robbe did you write that? _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ 🙄 _

_ No _

_ But he's very happy. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You're like a married couple omg. _

_ But thanks. I'll send amber a message. _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ Anytime! _

_ Guru sobbe appreciates your thanks and asks that you leave us a 5 star review o _

[22:43]

_ 🤐 _

_ That was Robbe, he’s spent too much time with Milan. Sorry. _

_ But have fun with Engel! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You even have your own ship name and everything omg 💗 _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ 🖕 _

[22:45]

[Chat with engelbeekman]

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Good news, I can be there! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Really!? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Yeah! Just rearranged some things. _

_ You won't be alone anymore! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_I'm sorry you had to rearrange things!_

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_Don't apologise, I'd much rather be with you!_

**_engelbeekman:_ **

**_ 🥰 _ **

_ Thank you so much!  _

_ I can actually tell mum as well! I'm sure she'll be happy you're back! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I can't wait to see you again! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Me too! I miss you 🙁 _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I miss you  _

_ 💗 _

_ Wait omg sorry I didn't mean to send the heart sorry _

_ Omg _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ It's fine! _

[23:03]

_ 💗 _


	8. Zondag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This'll be the last part in text form. The rest will be prose - thanks to those of you who've stuck it through this far! Also happy Sobbe anniversary <3

[04/07/21 Zondag 23:36]

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Engel _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Yeah? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ It’s tomorrow _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 🥰 _ _ 🥰 _

_ I knowww!!!! _

_ I can’t wait! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I can finally hug you _

_ And touch you _

_ Honestly, idc if that sounds weird _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 😆 _

_ Ah I’m so excited - it’s been so long! _

_ Too long! _

_ And we can make dinner together and I can show you the sights. _

_ It’s going to be amazing. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 😍 _

_ Can’t tomorrow come sooner? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Come on now _

_ In less than 24 hours you’ll be here  _

[sent an attachment]

_ in my arms _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 😓 _

_ I wana be there nowww _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ If I could control time… _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ What are we going to make? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Monday’s a surprise! But I was thinking we could do pizza at some point? _

_ Or garden focaccia? _

_ I’m going to the market with Liv tomorrow so I can fill up on flour _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 🙁  _

_ Can’t I have a hint? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Nope! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Okay. _

_ What sights are you going to show me? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Idk. _

_ Where do you already know? _

_ Or where do you not want to go? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ The Miffy museum. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 🤣 _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Never. Again. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Omg I remember that! _

_ Should’ve known back then that you’d be a biker chick _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Why would you ever drag a 12 year old into a fucking Miffy museum!??? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 🤭 _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Miffy’s for babies!! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Okay, I promise I won’t take you to the Miffy Museum.  _

_ Anywhere else? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ That pizza place by the river. _

_ I’m worried I make have gained a slight flemish accent _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Definitely not there then. _

_ What about places you want to go then? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ The skate park? I want to make Robbe and Jens and that lot jealous. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Aren't they in Japan? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Exactly. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Ahh okay… 😏 _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ What? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ That sounds more like you trying to justify not going _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ No! I want to stay with you! _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ It's not as if you have any other options now though is it? 😆 _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I could stay at home? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ No don't! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Awh you miss me that much? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 🖕 _

_ But yeah.  _

_ Do you not miss me? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Relax! Of course I do! _

_ And I'd definitely much rather spend the week with you. _

_ But Japan does look cool _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Maybe we can go next year together? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 😍 _

_ That sounds like a dream _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Ooh maybe Sander and Robbe will be together by then and we can all go together! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Okay that really sounds like a dream. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ You don't think they'll get together? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

**_🤷‍♀️_ **

_ Its been so long. If they're not together by the end of the week, the week where they can spend every waking moment together, it won't happen. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

**_☹️_ **

_ That'd be a shame though _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Why? Didn't you want to make a move on Sander? 😏😏 _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

**_🙄_ **

_ When will you let that go omg _

_ I said he was hot, that's it! _

_ For the record Robbe's pretty hot too _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Been there, done that _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Doesn't mean I'm attracted to either of them _

_ Omg, you know what I mean! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Yeah, yeah I do, sorry. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Anyway _

_ Going back to US. _

_ What else do you want to do when you get here? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ We could go to that smoothie place of yours. _

_ Have a proper, in person date _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ That sounds amazing! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I think we have to do actual milkshakes though, just once at least. _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ I'll see what we eat the rest of the week _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Do I get to meet your friends? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_!!! _

_ Yes!! We usually go to the milkshake/smoothie bar on Saturdays so you can join us! _

_ Oh! And me and Liv do Hot Yoga on Saturday mornings too - you can come to that! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I can’t believe I’m agreeing to go to a hot yoga class _

_ Why? _

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ 🥰 _

_ Because you love me? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 🙄 _

_ I suppose I do Beekman, I suppose I do. _

[23:47]

**_engelbeekman:_ **

_ Do you want to call? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ God I thought you’d never ask 😘 _


	9. Maandag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Start of prose week (with a little bit of text interspersed)! Thanks for the love so far and I hope you enjoy the second half of it!  
> Also idk what the train announcements are like in the Netherlands, so I just copied the ones from where I'm from.  
> Enjoy!

05/07/21 Maandag 18:02

Her knee was shaking like crazy, which was weird. Noor would never have considered herself an anxious person but here she was, on a delayed train with a shaking knee and clammy hands. Was this what a crush was really like? The whole thing with Timo and Robbe felt miniscule compared to what she was feeling right now. She was going to see her childhood best friend, her childhood crush, for the first time in 4 years. Of course she was nervous. And the texts they'd shared over the past year didn't help. 

The crush had been deepening ever since messaged her way back into her life. From their weekly lockdown baking dates and the pictures they’d shared after, she knew the crush was back in full force. And perhaps it was the “galentines” date they’d had that pushed it further than it’d gone before. This was a crush alright, unlike anything she'd felt before. And ever since she'd accidentally pressed the heart emoji, and Engel sent one back, her heart tingled non stop whenever she received the "engelbeekman sent you a message" notification. Whenever they called, there was always something fluttery in her stomach. And Engel wasn't disputing it at all, more encouraging it. What with all the flirty comments and texts back, it was difficult for Noor not to get her hopes up. She tried - she really did. She didn't want another Robbe situation to happen. Although she'd outwardly been fairly chill about it, as she tried to be with most things, and the two had become great friends, it didn't stop it from stinging a little. And not really having anyone to genuinely talk about it to at the time didn't help either. Whilst Britt was all for slandering the boys, Noor didn't resent Robbe or want to bitch about him, her school friends and Sander didn't really know him or their relationship back then, and she didn't want to spill to her KAB friends in case Robbe hadn't told them yet. 

So she didn't want to raise her hopes. But after their last late night call, falling asleep with the call still open, after the cute "good morning" texts, after all the down right flirting exchanged, it just wasn't in her control anymore.

She was in bad.

To try keep her hands and mind busy, she picked up the phone.

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ ugh, this train's taking forever. I hope you're also having bad luck with transport. _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ sucks to be you - we're at the house so 🤷‍♀️ _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

**** _ how was the flight? Did you and Robbe spend the whole time cuddling? _

**_earthlingoddity:_ ** __

_ … _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ WAIT WHAT???? _

**_earthlingoddity_ ** _ : _

_ Calm down. He was just a bit nervous on the plane, that's all. _

**_noor.bauwens_ ** _ : _

_ Robbe IJzermans, aka fire breather, nervous on a plane? That's a lie if ever I see one. _

**_earthlingoddity_ ** _ : _

_ It's true! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 🙄 mmhmm sure _

**_earthlingoddity_ ** _ : _

_ what about you? Shouldn't you have been reunited in your lover's arms by now? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ says you _

_ I had to get the later train thanks to annoying parents 😕 _

_ which has been DELAYED _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

**_☹️_ **

**_noor.bauwens_ ** _ : _

_ yeah that's right. I require all the sympathy in the world rn _

'We will now be arriving in Utrecht Centraal. If you are leaving the train here, please make sure to take all items and belongings with you before you exit the train,'

The voice over rang throughout the train just as Noor sent her last text and her nerves intensified. This was it. This was really happening. Pausing the music, she took her earphones out, placing them and her water bottle in her bag before standing up and making her way to the luggage rack where she'd left her suitcase.

With suitcase handle in one hand, and phone in the other, she made her way out of the carriage and waited by the door. As the train slowed down, Noor began recognising familiar sights. And damn did the nostalgia hit. She loved Antwerp, but something about Utrecht still screamed home. 

The train was now pulling into the station. She would see her,  _ her _ , in a matter of 3 minutes. She'd hoped that perhaps the nostalgia of the city would calm her growing nerves but it did quite the opposite.

2 minutes. She took her phone out and began checking her reflection. She'd been sure to put on her favourite lipstick and had washed and styled her hair in the morning so that it'd look nice by the time she arrived. It was a little messed up from the heat, but presentable. Her hair matched her jacket, the colours leading the way in her outfit.

1 minute. She put her phone away, not wanting to seem rude when she met her again and began fiddling with the buttons on her sleeve. God when did she become so restless over a crush? She was almost an adult! She shouldn't have been getting so nervous!

The train finally arrived and the door open. With a queue of people behind her, there was no time to mentally prepare herself for the step. Nor for what was waiting for her on the platform. She walked a few steps in so that she wasn't in the way of anyone else exiting the train and 2 benches down was her.  _ Her _ .

'Noor!'

She stood up with a big smile spread across her face. Noor couldn't help but mirror that smile.

'Engel,' she meant to repeat the tone but couldn't help it from sounding desperate. Engel was the one who ran up and threw her arms around her.

'I'm so glad I can hug you,' she muttered. It wasn’t a “I miss you” - that was already implied. It was  _ more _ .

‘Me too.’ It came out more like a whisper. She breathed her in. Engel smelt sweet, like flowers - maybe rose or orchid. Noor made a mental note to sneak on what kind of shower gel she used so that she could put a finger on what the scent actually was. And analysing her smell made her suddenly self conscious about what she smelt like. She’d just been on two hot trains for 4 hours in the summer heat of the Low Lands. It couldn't be pleasant.

She quickly pulled away.

‘Fuck I must smell awful. That train was so warm and I’m sweaty and-,’ she began explaining but Engel pulled her back into a hug.

‘You smell fine Noor, stop worrying!’ she said, laughing. But just as a smile began to settle again on Noor’s face, Engel quickly pulled away.

‘Actually wait, you’re right.’ Noor rolled her eyes. ‘Ooh, you can use this new body soap Janna bought me from Eidenhoven! It’s got real pressed roses in and smells so good!’ she explained.  _ Roses _ . That was the scent.

Noor grinned, throwing a playful punch at her shoulder in response to her comment that she  _ smelled _ . 

‘I would love that,’

And then there was a moment. The platform around them had been emptying as they chatted and was now mostly empty and they looked at each other. A gentle evening breeze blew past the gradually darkening baby blue skies. The lamps that lit up the station seemed a lot brighter and whether that was from the darkening of the outside world, or whether that was from seeing Engel again was something that Noor had yet to decipher.

The two girls looked at each other, and they could. They hadn’t seen each other in 3 years, aside from instagram posts. There was an excuse to stare. Noor bore a nervous smile, trying to figure out something to say, and to her surprise, it was copied by her companion.  _ She was nervous too _ !? She had to stop her brain from spiralling into what that could mean. But did it mean something? Or was she also just trying to find something to say?

‘Come on!’ Engel chirped, breaking the moment and grabbing the suitcase from Noor’s hand. Her fingers brushed her palm and there was a spark, Noor was sure of it. But they ignored it. ‘Let’s go!’

The girl began walking towards the exit, wheeling the suitcase behind her. She got to the automatic doors before she realised that she was walking alone. The doors had opened and the light from behind her made her look like the literal meaning of her name. Noor stood a little dumbfounded.

‘You coming?’

18:35

‘I went shopping with Liv this afternoon so we’ve got plenty of ingredients to make healthy meals!’ Engel explained as they entered her flat. If it was anyone else, Noor would’ve rolled her eyes. But it was Engel. So she grinned.

‘Sounds good!’ she said as she closed the door behind her.

‘Shoes off or?’ she asked before stepping further into the flat. Engel furrowed her brows.

‘You take your shoes off at home?’ she asked. Noor shook her head.

‘No, it’s just I know it’s a thing with some people,’ she quickly explained. 

Engel shook her head.

‘No, unless they’re really muddy, then we take them off outside. There was one time I went to a festival with Janna and Is, and our shoes got so muddy, I took them off before going into the lift!’ she said and began chattering away about the festival and how she cleaned the shoes enough to make them look brand new.

She then gave Noor a short tour of the flat. There was a thin L-shaped corridor that ran down the middle of it. The first door on the left was the studio kitchen/living room. On the counter, Noor could see a brown paper bag along with a white one with pink roses decorating it balancing against each other, evidently the groceries her friend had bought earlier in the day. Opposite the kitchen was a utility room - or rather utility cupboard equipped with an ironing board, vacuum cleaner, and various cleaning equipment.

‘We had a washing machine but it broke during the winter and it’s cheaper to just go to the laundrette downstairs,’ Engel explained.

Noor nodded.

‘Has the lift ever stopped working?’ she asked.

Engel nodded.

'Once! I had to drag all our shopping plus mum's washing up. It was awful, but a good workout so I don't mind,' she said.

Next to the utility cupboard was a plain white door containing her mother's room.

‘That’s er… out of bounds,’ she explained a little nervously. Noor nodded, with an understanding smile. She knew all about Engel’s mum’s problems and why she went to the institution, and knew how her daughter felt about it. So she didn’t push and simply followed her along as she pointed out the other rooms.

The one next to it was the bathroom and finally the door at the end of the corridor was Engel's. Not that it needed it but Engel announced her room.

'It's not really big or anything like Isa's, but I've tried to make it look nice,' she explained as the two stepped into the room.

It wasn't large, but it was just right. A large window sat opposite the door, a set of blinds covering it. There was a desk with a laptop and notebook resting in the centre. Adjacent were some sliding doors Noor could only assume was a wardrobe. Upon the walls were various Polaroids and posters and pink, heart shaped fairy lights.

The biggest thing that Noor spotted was probably the double bed in the centre, and the lack of any other bed.

'I can sleep on the couch this week if you'd like? We’ve got extra sheets. Or we can take it in turns?' she offered, following Noor’s gaze at the bed. Noor quickly shook her head.

'We're almost adults right? We can handle the same bed,' she said, lying through her teeth. Sleeping so close to the girl she'd been crushing on for 3 years? There was no way that she could handle it. But Engel agreed.

So Noor would have to be okay with it.

'Well, I'll let you get unpacked and I'll put away the groceries. Then we can get started on dinner?'

'Sure.'

Unpacking didn't take very long. She took her pyjamas out, placing them by the bed, along with a small toiletry and makeup bag which she planned to place in the bathroom. And finally, a small package. 

Equipped with the toiletry bag and small package, she made her way out of the room and back towards the kitchen, stopping off at the bathroom on the way.

'Hey,' she said, stepping into the kitchen. It was small and opposite an even smaller living space.

‘Hey!’ Engel chirped back. The girl was busying herself by making piles of the groceries - it was clear that some belonged in the fridge whilst some belonged in the cupboards. And Noor would’ve offered to help but she’d probably make it worse - that was the excuse she planned as she leaned back on the far counter, watching her friend fold the bags away into a drawer and get started on the fridge. But she was really watching her friend. Or admiring, or gazing at her. She was luckily able to drift out of her daze just as Engel closed the last cupboard and the counters were empty. That when she pulled the package out from behind her back and handed it to her.

‘For you,’ she said, her voice cracking.

Engel furrowed her brows.

‘Me? Why are you getting me a gift? It’s not my birthday,’

Noor shrugged.

‘Just a thanks for letting me stay over I guess,’ she said.

‘Noor, I asked you to stay over. You don’t need to get me a souvenir for it!’

‘Just accept the damn gift,’

A rosy blush appeared on Engel’s cheeks as she took the package. Noor had a lip between her teeth as the girl opened it. And the look on her friend’s face as the items were unveiled, as she opened it and realised what it was, made the countless hours she’d spent staying after hours at her school, or the favours she pulled and still owed Sander for sneaking her into the Academy, or the risk of working by candlelight by her bed (literally as her parents would yell at her to go to bed) worth it. She’d do it again in a heartbeat to see that expression.

‘Is this…?’ she asked, placing one of the items on the counter as she flipped through the pages of the filled one.

‘I figured you might want a space to write down any new recipes you come up with at uni. Then I thought in case you hadn’t written them down, it’d be nice to have a space for all your lockdown recipes,’ Noor explained. The look of wonder on Engel’s face remained.

‘Did… did you make these?’

‘The notebooks?’

Noor nodded. Engel gasped and picked up the empty notebook.

‘They’re so beautiful,’ she spoke quietly, as if the books would fall apart if she raised her voice. And before Noor could even think of a response, arms were flung around her neck and that rose scent was back. Noor’s arms tightened around Engel’s waist.

‘Thank you,’ she whispered. Considering the girl couldn’t see her in that moment, Noor let out the biggest smile.

‘It’s nothing,’

‘But it must’ve taken you hours,’

‘It was worth it.'

She pulled away and this was the 2nd moment they’d shared in the same evening and there was something in Noor’s stomach. God, was this what they called butterflies? If it was, she wanted it to never end.

‘Well maybe we should make one of these recipes together tonight then?’ Engel suggested, breaking the moment. ‘Do it together properly instead of over zoom,’

‘Is this a test?’ Noor laughed as Engel pretended to be a teacher.

‘Oh of course! I need to make sure my pupil’s learnt properly,’

‘Is the test going to be hard?’

Eyebrows rose. There was a look and a feeling of something in Noor’s stomach.

‘Mm, very. But, you could try bribing the teacher.'

They shared it. They knew it. It was  _ something _ . Twisting, churning, yearning. She could’ve bit her lip, or winked, and then she’d really know. But it wasn’t the time quite yet. They were just going to have dinner - nothing new.

‘Didn’t you have something planned?’ Noor broke the atmosphere. ‘That you refused to even give me a hint about?’

Engel clasped her hands against her cheeks and the moment was well and truly gone.

‘Yes!’ she gasped. ‘I completely forgot!’ Engel spun back around to the fridge and opened the lower door, which turned out to be a freezer, and pulled out a tupperware box.

‘I made some linguini yesterday! And I found a new pasta sauce recipe from this vegan instagram account - I thought we could do that?’

Noor grinned. The moment wasn’t back exactly, but the blonde girl stood in front of an open freezer, holding a box of frozen linguini made her feel so serene. So at ease. If this was what life with Engel would be like, she wanted that so badly. 

‘That sounds amazing.’


	10. Dinsdag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are getting later and later in the evening - apologies. I really picked the perfect time to upload a thing like this. Anyway. Enjoy.  
> Also the song at the end is Paris by The 1975 - I have fallen in LOVE with that song <3

06/07/21 Dinsdag 09:16

Their legs were tangled together. 

That was the first thing Noor was aware of as she came to. She could feel a smooth pair gentled weaved between hers. 

The second was the smell. The smell that was  _ so _ Engel. The scent from the body soap she’d mentioned the day before was ever present but it was something more. Something earthy - it could be from all the vegetables she cooks with or the plants she has in the kitchen. But it’s fresh and wonderful, and a scent that has always screamed Engel.

That evening the two had fallen asleep with their backs to each other and that’s how Noor woke up so she was careful to not wake the sleeping girl next to her and twisted around to see her. She needn’t have worried because as she managed to pull her eyes to find the girl, she noticed that the girl was already awake and staring at her. She was awake which meant that-

‘Morning,’ Engel chirped, cutting off Noor’s thoughts. If it’d been anyone else, she would’ve winced. But this was Engel.

‘Morning,’ 

The dark haired girl’s voice was much huskier in tone as she stretched her limbs out, waking her body from the slumber. Despite having full consciousness and feeling back in their legs, they remained tangled.

‘Did you sleep well?’ Engel asked after a minute or two of just staring at each other. The smile on Noor’s mouth grew as she nodded.

‘Like a baby,’ she said before fully twisting in the bed to comfortably see her friend. ‘You?’

There was a nervous smile about her but she too nodded.

‘Best I’ve done all year,’ she said. Noor had to dig her thumbnail into her own hand to stop her from reaching out and brushing the strand of hair that’d come loose and was currently hanging in front of the blonde’s eyes. 

‘Am I the magic spell?’

Engel smiled and nodded.

‘You’re magical,’ she whispered.

They’d created a delicate bubble around them, beneath the duvet. It was the type of bubble that could burst if the sound went over 40 decibels. The type where everything felt possible and magical and real, all at the same time. The type that could only be shared between soulmates.

‘What’s the plan for today?’

Engel hummed softly.

‘We could make pancakes? Then… We could go to the botanical gardens? Or the market? Or… There’s a clock museum that’s quite cool?’ 

Silence settled as Noor took a moment to realise that this was happening. She was in bed with her crush talking about their plans for the day. She didn’t want to break the atmosphere but she had to pinch herself. This couldn’t be real. How could it?

‘Or not…’ Engel said, reminding Noor to respond. ‘That might not be cool, we don’t have to. You might have plans, that’s fine. We can do something different or you can or-,’ she began rambling and Noor didn’t bother fighting the urge to lift her hand. She’d planned to place a finger on her lips, or a hand over her mouth but instead her hand decided to cup the side of the blonde’s face, surprising both of them.

‘Engel, we can do whatever you want. Let’s go to this clock museum,’ she said. ‘Is that the Speelklok one?’

Engel nodded. Noor smiled.

‘I loved that when I was a kid. I’d love to go back!’

Engel smiled and closed her eyes.

‘Are you falling asleep?’

She shook her head.

‘No, I just like your hand there,’ she explained. And Noor’s heart jumped. She was speechless. All she could do was press her palm a little further and Engel’s smile grew even more.

‘Pancakes?’

11:43

If anyone else had suggested going to Museum Speelklok, Noor would’ve probably pretended to have other plans. Sure she loved it as a child, but she was a child. She’s an almost adult now. But it was Engel. Back before she even realised the crush, Noor struggled to say no to Engel.

After 2 failed attempts and 1 successful attempt at making pancakes, the two got fully changed and ventured out into the city. Noor had arrived fairly late the evening before so seeing it in daylight was fresh and put a smile on her face. She inhaled.

‘God, even the smell hasn’t changed,’ she said as the two stepped out of the apartment block.

‘What does Utrecht smell like?’ Engel asked. Noor looked over at the girl walking next to her. Her dark blonde hair was swept up into a ponytail and she wore a fluffy white jumper over some black jeans. She looked beautiful.

‘Um…’ Noor trailed off, trying to figure out words to describe the sensation. As she was thinking, her eyes circled around what was around her before landing back on her friend ‘You.’

‘Me!? And what do I smell like?’

Noor grinned. She didn’t have to think about this one but put on a face.

‘You smell like…’ she trailed off before leaning and making an obvious sniff. ‘Roses!’ she cried and leant in again, ‘and pancakes,’ and again, ‘tulips,’ and again, ‘and…’ she was nervous about the last one. But, ‘home.’

As Noor leant in, Engel giggled, a sound gifted from the heavens above, as she playfully tried to bat the girl away.

‘Home?’ she asked. The tone of Noor’s voice had changed, she wasn’t exactly sure what to or why, but it had, and Engel picked up on it.

‘Yeah, home.’

Toothy grins were shared before they carried on their walk to the museum.

Not too long after, they strolled up outside a brown stone building that looked a bit like a church. The doors were open and outside stood a small chalk A frame with a welcoming message.

‘Here we are!’ Engel announced. 

‘It’s smaller than I remember,’ Noor commented as they walked inside.

‘That’s because you were smaller!’

‘I know, I know.’

They made their way down some steps and walked up to an available museum clerk stood behind the counter. Before Noor could even begin a conversation about payment or who was paying for what, Engel had taken the lead.

‘2 standard tickets please!’ she announced. The transaction was done within 2 minutes and before they knew it, the worker began explaining the map and how best to explore the site.

‘I’m getting lunch by the way,’ Noor said as they walked away to the first exhibit.

‘Hmm?’

‘After? I’m paying for lunch,’ she said.

‘Oh, you don’t have-,’

‘Engel, you made dinner and breakfast, and you just bought our tickets,  _ and _ you’re letting me stay with you for a whole week, let me buy you some damn lunch,’ Noor said quite firmly, but still in a light tone.

They walked in silence for a few steps before she replied.

‘Okay,’

‘Okay?’

She nodded with a shy smile.

‘Okay.’

14:00

Again, if anyone other than Engel were to ask, Noor would say that the Speelklok museum was lame, or “a couple cool things but not much to see”. But she couldn’t lie to Engel.

‘What did you think?’ she asked as they walked away from the stoney building. The sun was hot and beating down on them and their hands swung next to each other, occasionally bumping knuckles. It was bliss.

‘Good! It’s better than I remembered!’ she admitted before reeling off a few facts about the musical clocks she’d learned. Engel smiled.

‘I’m glad you enjoyed it! I was worried you’d become too cool for it,’

‘What!? Why?’

‘You know, with your piercings and tattoos, they just scream “I’m too cool!”,’

Noor shoved her playfully. Those comments often hurt a little because that’s not why she had her tattoos and piercings. It wasn’t to “look cool”. Well, it wasn’t  _ only _ to look cool - because they did. They all meant things and it was annoying how when she’d show a softer, more vulnerable side to her, people would act as though it was out of character. But with Engel, Noor knew that she knew that, even though they’d never discussed it out loud - and maybe it was just from Engel’s empathetic nature - but she treated every “side” to her as real. And Noor loved that.

‘Shut up,’ she rolled her eyes. And then Engel raised her hand to her ear.

‘This is cool,’ she said, dragging her thumb over the gold spacer in her ear. Her index finger slipped into the gold hoop that hung from the spacer and something flipped in Noor’s stomach. Her face suddenly began to feel warm and her whole body was tingly. She was blushing. Noor Bauwens blushed. An event for the history books.

‘Hmm?’ was the only sound she could make, overwhelmed by the touch. And Engel smiled a smile that only some divine thing could’ve given her.

‘Yeah. It’s pretty,’ she said, her voice soft. Noor bit her tongue in an attempt to try and play it more casual.

‘Just like you then,’ she said, as nonchalantly as she could. Engel’s hand fell from the ear and Noor couldn’t help but feel the very noticeable absence.

‘What do you want for lunch?’ she asked, walking forwards again. Noor shrugged.

‘Where do you recommend?’

‘Oh! There’s a Bagels & Beans nearby!’

‘A what?’

‘Do you not have those in Belgium? Bagels & Beans - it’s just a really tasty bagel shop! They’ve got loads in Amsterdam, that’s how I found it!’

Noor grinned.

‘Looks like we have our go-to bagel place for September then!’ Noor said, referring to their decision to both attend university in Amsterdam. Engel grinned.

‘I can’t wait,’

‘To move out?’

‘To move in with you,’

Another skipped heartbeat.

‘It’ll sure be fun,’ Noor said, not wanting to miss a beat.

‘Just think about it Noor, it’ll be so fun!’ Engel began, grabbing Noor’s hand - there were sparks of course - and jumping up.

‘We can actually make meals together, not just over zoom. Oh! And we can decorate the place - you can be in charge of that, being arty and everything. Ah!’ she squealed. ‘I’m so excited!’

Noor laughed, holding the hand with her other.

‘Me too, but I’m also hungry,’ she reminded her.

‘Sorry,’ Engel apologised and began properly leading the two in a certain direction.

‘You still sure you want to move in with me?’

Noor nodded indignantly. 

‘Of course! I’m so excited to move in with you,’

She squeezed the hand that never left hers.

‘How about we make a pinterest board over lunch for the flat?’ she suggested. Engel grinned and nodded as they turned a corner.

20:24

There were so many times that Noor had to pinch herself to remind herself it wasn’t a dream. The weather was perfect. The food was perfect. The company was perfect. Beyond perfect even. The moment they’d shared on the way to get bagels was only one of many “moments” that’d occurred. There was that time when they sat outside the bagel shop at a table, looking across at each other. Their legs swung and occasionally collided. After the first few times, the collisions were clearly no longer accidental. The glances they’d shared as they walked towards the riverside made it clear that they both knew it. Knuckles had been bumping more purposefully and when they’d gotten to a particularly quiet stretch of the river, Engel’s hand knocked against Noor’s but it didn’t swing back. It stayed there, her middle finger trying to hook around the other’s. Noor could hardly believe what was happening. She looked up at the blonde who was looking down at their hands fondly. Their gazes switched as Noor found the confidence to let the other fingers wrap and weave between her own. And then they looked up again. They knew it. She didn’t know quite what it was they knew, but they knew alright.

Even when they returned to a more crowded space, the fingers stayed intertwined. Even as they walked back to Engel’s apartment block. Even as they stood in the lift, waiting for their stop. Even as they walked through the door. In fact they only let go to wash their hands once they got in - a habit from the pandemic that was beneficial and hard to shake. And once their hands were washed, Noor felt the sudden burning desire to tangle up their fingers again. But Engel had other plans.

‘Do you want to make pizza?’ she asked.

‘Doesn’t that take ages though?’

She shook her head.

‘No, we can make the dough now, let it rise for an hour, then topping and the oven!’

‘Engel, it took us like 4 hours last time,’

‘Noor,’ she mocked her tone, ‘you were messing around last time,’

‘What makes you think I won’t mess around this time?’

Engel jabbed her tummy.

‘That.’

The two broke into giggles, holding onto each other.

‘Now come on! Let’s make pizza!’ she said once she’d recovered, walking over to her cupboard. ‘Is one big one enough? Or should we make two?’

‘We can always have leftovers,’ Noor said. She nodded.

‘Two it is!’

She began measuring out some flour and noor couldn’t help but feel a little helpless just standing around.

‘Is there anything I can do?’

Engel screwed her lips to the side and Noor thought she was the most beautiful thing ever.

‘Can you measure out 175ml of warm water please?’ she asked, passing a glass jug over. ‘Make sure it’s warm, not boiling,’

Noor took the jug and got to work filling up the kettle. It was silent in the kitchen as the two girls worked. The whole atmosphere reminded Noor about the conversation they’d had over lunch, and how she was genuinely looking forward to even more moments like these.

Once all the ingredients were measured, Engel broke the silence.

‘Do you want to put the yeast and sugar into the water and mix it up?’ she asked. Noor nodded. Engel mixed the dry ingredients and began cleaning and disinfecting a section of the counter before spreading some flour on it.

‘Now this is the messy part so don’t mess around, okay?’ she asked. Noor smiled, nodding innocently enough but her brain was working quickly to find a more fun way of making the dough. Alas when she looked back up at the girl next to her, slowly pouring the water and yeast mixture into the flour well she’d made, all pranks flew out her mind. She was fucked.

Instead, she picked up her phone to reply to a message she’d received earlier in the day but didn’t think to reply.

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ How’s it going with Engel? 😏 _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ How’s it going with Robbe?😏 _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ 🙄 _

_ I asked first _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 😶 _

_ It’s good. She took me around the city today _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ Aand? What did you do? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You’re as bad as Robbe omg. _

_ Nothing, we just went to a museum, had lunch at a cafe, held hands, walked through a park..  _

_ We’re making pizza now _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ 🤯 _

_ Wait, hold up. _

_ Did my 6am brain just make it up or did you type that you HELD HANDS??? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ 6am!? Why the fuck are you awake? _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ I couldn’t sleep. Thought looking at Robbe might make me sleepy _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Awh 🥰😍♥️✨✨😘 _

_ You guys sharing a bed? _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ No, just a room. _

_ But let’s go back to this holding hands thing. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Nothing happened - we just held hands, no biggie. _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ Your brain’s telling you something v different now isn’t it? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ … _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ Alright, i get it.  _

_ You’ve just been pining over her for 4 years now. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You can talk! _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_?? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ You’ve literally been making heart eyes at Robbe since you met him _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ No I haven’t! _

_ Besides, that’s different. _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ How? _

‘Who you texting?’

Noor jumped, her phone almost falling out of her hands. Engel was stood directly in front of her, peering over to try catch a glimpse at the screen. Noor quickly locked her phone before looking up.

‘Um, Sander. He was just telling me about Japan,’ she made up on the spot. Or well, it wasn’t totally made up, but certainly not the main focus of their conversation.

‘Oh! How is it? I’ve always wanted to go there with all the cherry blossoms and the cute fashion and shops…’ 

The blonde girl spun around so that she was stood, her side flush with Noor’s.

‘I think it’s good. He’s mainly been talking about Robbe,’

‘Are they together yet? Hasn’t it been ages?’

Noor laughed and nodded.

‘Yup!’

‘Wow, they’re taking their time huh?’

‘Mm hm! They’re annoyingly cute together though,’ Noor admitted, unlocking her phone and very quickly tapping away from her conversation with Sander before looking for some pictures of the two.

‘Here,’ she said, showing the girl a picture from her friend’s instagram of the two boys in a shopping trolley.

‘Awh, they are so cute together!’

‘Ugh, I know!’

Engel then busied herself with placing the kneaded dough into a bowl and covering that bowl with cling film.

‘Now we just need to wait for this to rise!’ she announced.

They tidied up the kitchen. Once they were done, Engel rolled her lips, clearly wanting something to do.

‘I know what to do,’ Noor said with a grin and disappeared before she could be questioned down the hallway. She returned within less than a minute with a speaker in hand. She quickly connected up her phone before looking back at the confused girl in the kitchen.

‘Dance party?’

23:13

The dance party had been something else. It turned into something else.

Neither one of them could explain how they got there but after 50 or so minutes of jumping around the kitchen, a slower song came on. As they’d been dancing, they’d become closer and clingier and the slower song was the perfect excuse to get even closer. Before they knew it, they were slow dancing to colourful guitar riffs and complicated lyrics, swaying their bodies to the beat.

‘Have you…’ Engel spoke quietly. No one else could’ve heard.

‘Hm?’

‘Have you ever been like Sander?’

She furrowed her brows.

‘Like fallen for a friend like he has?’

Noor felt her heart suspended in mid air. Did she know? Was she that obvious? What could she say?

Carefully, not wanting to make her sudden panic apparent, she nodded.

‘Once, a while ago…’ she trailed off, not eager to give anymore details.

They let the music fill the soundwaves between them as this new knowledge sat with them. 

‘Have you?’ Noor prompted softly. Their heads were inching closer and closer together. Engel nodded shly, her forehead resting on Noor’s.

Noor raised her eyebrows gently, not wanting to cause any discomfort.

'Who?'

It was a breath. The arms around each other's neck began to tentatively pull closer. Noor felt her heart beating out of her chest. This was happening. And this was so unlike her. But fuck this was Engel. She could smell the rose, the semolina from the pizza,  _ her _ . Just so much girl. And she loved it.

Eyes closed as they quite literally lost themselves into the beats of the song, swaying and breathing as one being. And it was going to happen, she was so sure of it. Engel's hands dropped to her waist. To feel those delicate palms against her torso. Noor wanted to kiss. Fuck did she want to kiss her. And they were getting closer as well. Noses knocked together and-

Engels's phone rang, cutting the music. They stopped in their tracks.

'Sorry,' she spoke, breaking the atmosphere they'd created, before walking back over to the counter. 

And then it was awkward. Or maybe it was Noor making it awkward. She didn't speak much to Liv who'd been the one to interrupt them, she didn't eat as much of the pizza as she probably would've, and when they sat on the sofa to watch a film, she didn't cuddle up to her friend like she so desperately wanted to. She couldn't shake it. She'd gone too far. She'd over stepped. Fuck. This is why she never let herself develop feelings so strong for someone. It always goes too far. She hated that she was doing what she was about to do. But honestly? She didn't have anyone else. The only people that truly knew about not only her being bi but Engel as well, were Sander and Robbe. So inevitably they were the only people she could message. 

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Sander? You there? _

_ I think I fucked it up _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ Sander's been stolen rn. Can I help? _

_ Its Robbe btw _

She couldn't even find it in herself to tease him about anything.

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ I almost kissed her _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ 🤯 _

_ What!!??? _

_ That's amazing!! _

_ Right? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ No it's not! _

_ We got interrupted by her friend calling and then she just went back to the pizza and I've been so awkward all evening and fuck. _

_ I think I've fucked up big time. _

_ I'm genuinely freaking out. _

_ Fuck. _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ Okay, first thing, breathe. _

_ Second, where are you? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ In bed. She's asleep now but I don't want to wake her so don't call me _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ Okay. You're going to be fine. _

_ Besides, she didn't shove you away or anything right? _

_ Or yell in disgust? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ No _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ Well maybe she does feel something but also didn't want to make it awkward. _

_ Or maybe she doesn't but just wants to stay friends with you? _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Fuck _

_ Have I been weird and awkward all evening for nothing? _

_ Omg _

_ Robbe, please just kill me and hide the body _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

_ Come on. You're Noor! _

_ You're the girl who was super chill when I used you as a beard _

_ Who stayed friends with the guy who broke up with her best friend _

_ You're the girl who rides a scooter, has tattoos, and sprays _

_ You're the coolest person I know. _

_ You got this! _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ … _

_ What do you want? _

**_earthlingoddity:_ **

**_🙄_ **

_ Can I not just compliment you? _

_ You're Noor Full Stop Bauwens. _

_ You're going to be absolutely fine _

**_noor.bauwens:_ **

_ Thank you. _


	11. Woensdag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're welcome :)  
> cw // slightly steamy making out?? I'm still too chicken to write smut, and it's not quite smut, but yeah.

07/07/20 Woensdag 09:08

Noor woke up the following morning to an empty bed. Fuck. Had the night before really been that bad? Did Engel not want to be around her anymore? Had she-

Before her brain spiralled out of control with questions as to why she was alone, a sweet scent wading into the bedroom through the open door answered her question. She relaxed a little, but not entirely. Engel could still very well be upset or angry or weirded out by her yesterday. And Noor didn't want to face it. She really didn't. The conversation with Robbe from the evening before had been somewhat comforting but she couldn't help but just not want to be the strong, awesome "Noor Full Stop Bauwens" in that moment. She wanted to curl up in a ball and pathetically feel sorry for herself. She wanted to just bury herself under her crush's duvet, inhaling the rose-Engel odour that seeped through the sheets. She wanted to never leave. But she had to because she  _ was  _ "Noor Full Stop Bauwens". She could do anything.

So with one final inhale, she pushed the duvet and sheets off her and rolled out of bed. The cool floor was refreshing to touch with her warm feet. She rummaged around her suitcase to find some clothes to put on - she didn't want to make it more awkward by showing up in her poor excuse of pyjamas. A hoodie and some leggings. It was casual, and it wasn't Noor, but it'd do for now. She quietly stepped out of the room and padded down the corridor, following the familiar aromas. They came from the kitchen, obviously. And there she was, busying herself at a chopping board, cutting up some strawberries.

'Morning,' Noor croaked quietly, trying out her voice. It was surprisingly smooth for how she was feeling. Engel turned around with a beam on her face.

'Morning! Did you sleep well?' she asked as Noor took a seat at the table. Noor nodded - it wasn't true, she was up the entire night trying to avoid nightmares of worse case scenarios of what happened. But she didn't want to worry her.

'You?' she asked with little emotion to her voice. As much as she wanted to lie, she couldn't bring herself to be completely convinced. But Engel, if she noticed it, ignored the deadpan.

'Not great to be honest,'

'Oh?'

'Yeah, I'm sorry I kept feeling bad for talking to Liv for so long. You've come over all the way from Belgium. I'm sorry,'

Noor was stunned. What?

'What? Engel, she's your friend - don't apologise!'

The blonde shrugged, walking over to a metal contraption. She opened it to reveal the culprit of the smell that'd invaded the flat that morning.

'I made some Belgian waffles though to make up for it!' she said, shuffling the cakey, crispy mixture out of the pan and on to 2 separate plates. Noor couldn't help but roll her eyes. Because of course Engel would do this.

'I'm not Belgian you know?'

'I know, but just something to remind you of home,' she said. 'And to say sorry. You have my complete undivided attention today! I told the girls this morning and have turned off notifications!'

Noor's heart swelled.

'Okay then. What plans do you have?'

'Um…' she trailed off in thought. 'How about milkshakes?'

Noor grinned at the girl but frowned at her heart for skipping a beat. This meant nothing. It was just milkshakes.

'Milkshakes it is!'

16:11

Was it a  _ date  _ date? Or was it just a platonic, girls' hang out? Noor couldn't tell - all she knew was that her heart just wouldn't shut up after the blonde reached over to wipe some cream off of her cheek. It was as if yesterday evening never happened and they just picked up from holding hands by the riverside. They left the milkshake bar a while ago and spent the rest of the day walking through Griftpark. Hands found each other again. Noor couldn't help but notice how perfectly their fingers fitted around each other. Engels's middle finger between Noor's middle and index, Noor's thumb stroking Engels's thumb nail, both their little fingers dancing with each other. It was magical.

'Noor, can I ask you something?' Engel asked as they approached the skatepark. Noor's instant reaction to seeing the site was how much Robbe and the Broerrrs would probably enjoy it. But she turned her head back to her companion.

'Yeah?'

'Can I… can I ask you about the friend you have a crush on? You mentioned yesterday,'

Oh. That. Fuck. Noor had hoped that much of yesterday would get forgotten - not that she would or could ever forget such a perfect day. Her brain had focused so much on the thing that they almost did yesterday, and the day had so far been so good, she’d forgotten about it - which shocked her beyond all means. She scrambled for an answer.

'Erm… yeah. What do you want to know?'

'Just… how do you handle it? Being around them, being their friend but wanting more,'

'Why, do you have a crush on Liv or something? Her boyfriend not enough for you?' Noor teased. Her voice was light-hearted enough but her brain was panicking. Engel rolled her eyes, shoving the girl as they made their way behind a skate ramp.

'No!'

'Then?'

Noor leaned against one of the metal poles supporting the ramp, giving Engel some time to figure out how to word her thoughts.

'Agh… it's just someone. It's recent, kinda. Well not knowing them, but the crush bit. But I really like them as a friend too and I don't know what to do,' she said. She was looking down at her feet. 

There was a horrid pang from inside Noor. Jealousy. Despair. There was someone else. Of course there was. They weren't right together anyway. They could be good friends sure, but more than that? Engel was so sweet and pure and everything good. And Noor was just not that. It'd never work.

Noor realised that she hadn't answered.

'Um… I reckon if they're a good enough friend, it shouldn't affect your friendship if you tell them,' she said, just reiterating all the advice she and Sander and exchanged with each other. It was dumb advice because whilst it might be true, it is a heck of a lot more easier said than done. She'd often tease Sander for not fessing up his obvious crush on Robbe but she understood why he was scared to tell him. It's not about  _ them _ being a good friend, it's about whether  _ you _ would be able to handle the rejection - from one of the most important people in your life. Noor didn't know if she could handle being rejected by such a beam of light as Engel. I mean she was struggling with this - having almost maybe kissed her the night before, holding hands, and now finding out that she actually has a crush on someone else. There was no way her heart, her head could take a full blown rejection.

'You think?' Engel asked, interjecting into her thoughts. Noor hummed, not able to say anything else. 'What if she rejected me though? What then?'

Her ears perked up at  _ she _ . Not only did she have a crush on someone else, that someone else was a  _ she _ . Noor gulped.

'Well you've always got me,' she tried a smile, looking over at her best friend. Engel lifted her eyes to look directly as the dark haired girl in front of her. There was a certain look in her eyes. If Noor hadn't been wallowing so much in self pity, her heart may have been doing cartwheels and somersaults by the way she was being looked at. By how soft yet nervous the blonde's eyes were on her.

Then she said it.

She. Said. It.

'What if she was you?'

It was quiet but they could've been in a busy town centre or the noisiest concert on the planet and Noor would've heard. Her eyes snapped up and finally noticed the expression on her friend's face.

'What?' was all she could whisper.

'What if the person I have a crush on is you?'

There was no 'hypothetically' or 'it's not you though'. It looked real and raw. And perhaps Noor had been blinded by affection, but it looked true. No words came.

There was only one thing she wanted to do. The desire and passion from the night before were back in an instant. She wanted to kiss her. Oh god she wanted to kiss her so bad. So she did.

It was short, just in case Engel was genuinely just asking for advice. Her nerves were getting the better of her. And when she pulled away, when the girl in front of her looked back in shock. She panicked. She'd read it wrong. Of course.  _ Of course _ . 

'Fuck I'm sorry, I just thought- I just- You said- And I-,' it was gibberish but she was desparately trying to come back. She expected Engel to maybe walk away or just smile and say it's okay before talking about her real crush. She expected everything other than the girl hurriedly crashing their lips together again. That was the last thing she expected.

But.

Oh god. 

It was happening. It was really happening. Her lips were on hers. They were  _ kissing _ . And it was magical. Noor relaxed into the kiss and looped her arms around her waist, as Engel held onto the drawstrings of her hoodie. The kiss was soft and sweet. Or it started that way. And that's how Engel tasted. Soft, sweet, ice cream. Her grip on her waist became stronger as her arms draped around her neck, pulling her closer. She could feel everything. Their noses, their bellies, their thighs. Much to her surprise, Engel pushed even further and Noor fell against the pole.

They finally pulled away for some air but the only parts of them that moved away were their lips and heads. Engel smiled and Noor was in love. She fell so completely in that moment.

Foreheads rested on each other, their noses nuzzling against each other. Smiles felt stuck.

'It's me right?' Noor asked out of a moment if insecurity. 'I'm the friend you have a crush on?'

Engel giggled and nodded.

'Yes silly. That's why we've just been making out,'

Noor grinned and kissed her,  _ because she could _ .

'Good. Because you’re the friend I have a crush on too.’

16:52

It should’ve only taken half an hour to get back to Engel’s flat. But with the two of them constantly stopping for a quick kiss, which was never quick, it took much longer. Once they were inside the lift, they might have been in the flat. There was no holding back. Noor pushed her against the wall of the lift and she scrambled to press the right button. Her hands dropped to her sides, and she allowed herself to be kissed. The kisses so far had been fairly innocent but they were both beginning to feel it. It was a flick of the tongue and they were both melting into each other, barely aware when the lift opened for their floor. Giggling, they stumbled out and Engel led them to her flat door. She walked backwards so that she could stay looking at her. Their hands let go once they got to the door but not wanting to miss out on anymore, Noor slid her arms around her sides and began kissing her back and her shoulders and her neck. And there were no complaints.

As soon as the door was unlocked, lips locked as Noor pushed the blonde girl into her apartment, kicking the door shut behind her. Keys were dropped on the floor as soon as they heard the latch and they were against a wall. Noor’s hands creeped down her back, lightly over her behind and onto her thighs. She applied light pressure from her fingers and Engel knew exactly what it meant. She jumped up and was caught with her legs wrapped around Noor’s waist. Kisses were dotted around her neck and her head and her face. With a little difficulty, occasionally bumping into walls and door frames, Noor managed to navigate them back into Engel’s room. She didn’t bother closing the door, considering they were alone in the flat. And she knelt at the foot of the bed, with the intention of lowering Engel down gently onto the mattress but the girl suddenly clung tighter onto her neck, causing her to lose balance and tumble.

‘Fuck!’

They laughed in a tangled mess.

‘You made me lose my balance,’ Noor accused, pushing herself up. She hovered over Engel, slowly closing in, in an attempt to tease her as a punishment.

‘Sorry,’ she said, gazing up at Noor, her eyes switch between the other set of eyes, and her lips. 

‘How can I make it up?’ she whispered.

It’s amazing how quickly Noor lost her will power and simply dove in for another kiss. A quiet suppressed moan and she was gone. She was completely gone.

Engel hooked her legs around Noor’s waist once more, pushing her body against the one on top of it. Noor echoed the move, pulling her as close as possible. She moved her kisses away from the lips and up the jaw, towards the ear.

‘Fuck, you’re so pretty,’ she whispered into her ear. ‘I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long,’

And suddenly Engel flipped them over. She straddled Noor, running her hands up and down her side, occasionally flicking a finger a little further up, and kissing her. Chaste kisses were peppered on her chin, across her jaw and down her neck. Noor gasped as lips dipped below her collar bone and fingers slipped a little too close to the centre. She took her own hands and brought Engel’s head back to hers so that they could kiss properly.

1, 2, 3 kisses later, Engel pulled away and fell beside her. An arm came around and they held each other close.

‘How long?’ Engel murmured.

‘Hmm?

‘You said you wanted to kiss me for so long. How long?’

‘Um…’ Noor thought. Should she be completely honest and tell her about her tween crush? Yeah.

‘It was when we broke up for the summer, just before I left,’ she began. ‘We’d finished our exams and I grabbed your hands and spun you around. And we walked to the milkshake place and we were holding hands. I don’t even remember who we were with. Was Luisa there?’

She could feel Engel shrug.

‘That long huh?’

‘What about you? When did you notice about me?’

‘I think it was after we made pasta for dinner,’

‘Do you want to do that again?’

To her surprise Engel shook her head.

‘I’m thinking of ordering takeout,’

‘What? Engel Beekman, nutrition extraordinaire, ordering a takeaway!?’

She giggled.

‘Yeah, I’d rather spend that time kissing you than cooking today,’ she said. Noor’s heart fluttered.

19:43

Two things rang simultaneously - Engel’s phone and the door. The two had vacated the bed and had been on the sofa, flicking through the Netflix on Noor’s laptop to find something to watch.

‘I’ll get the door,’ Noor said, heaving herself up. Engel shot her a thankful smile before Noor turned the corner. They’d taken off their shoes in the bedroom for comfort so she quickly ran back to the room to pull them on, grabbed the keys and headed out of the flat. 

Less than 10 minutes later, she re-entered the flat, armed with a brown paper bag, filled with burgers and fries. It’d taken a fair bit of convincing and a promise to go to a hot yoga class on Saturday that got her to agree. She dropped the keys in the bowl by the door and slipped her shoes off before walking back into the living room/kitchen area. She waved at the girl on the sofa as she placed the bag on the kitchen counter. Engel had her phone pointed towards her, clearly video-calling someone. She looked up and grinned at Noor. There was a moment of thought on her face before she beckoned her over.

‘Mama, do you want to meet someone?’ she asked her phone screen. Noor sat down next to her, careful not to be too close so that she’s not in the camera frame quite yet. But Engel pulled her closer so that she was.

‘Ah! Noor! It’s been so long - how are you? How’s Antwerp?’ Engel’s mum smiled. She wore a teal cardigan over a black shirt. Noor smiled back.

‘It has Mrs Beekman. I’m doing great! How are you?’ she asked.

‘Well better than I was you could say,’ she said with a sad laugh. 

‘That’s positive though,’

Engel during this time threaded her fingers back into Noor’s.

‘It is I suppose but… I suppose you’d find out eventually Noor… Engel, they want me to stay a bit longer,’

The grip on Noor’s hand tightened.

‘How much longer?’

Engel’s mum shrugged.

‘Right now they’re saying a week but they’ll call you tomorrow when they finalise it. I just wanted to be the one to tell you first,’

‘Oh,’

‘But I’ve called your dad and he says that he should be able to come home next Friday. I don’t want you to stay in the flat all on your own though so I don’t know if-,’

‘She can come stay with me,’ Noor cut across before any other suggestions could be made. ‘If that’s okay with you Mrs Beekman,’

The thumb that was stroking across her knuckles told her that it was the right thing to say.

‘Oh. Are you sure? Are you parents okay with that?’

‘It’s only a few days, they’ll be fine,’

‘And you? Are you sure?’

Noor looked over at Engel. There was a shy small smile on her face and Noor just wanted to kiss so desperately.

‘100%’

‘Well that’s incredibly kind of you Noor. I hope Engel’s treating you well,’

‘She has,’

‘Has she cooked for you yet?’

‘Everyday!’

‘Good good. Well I’ll let you two get back to your evening,’ and she hung up. Noor and Engel looked back at each other and grinned before reaching in for a kiss.

‘Thank you,’ Engel whispered against her lips. Noor smiled.

‘What are you thanking me for? It means we get to spend more time together!’

They shared another long sweet kiss. Seeing Engel’s eyes still closed from the kiss made Noor’s stomach flip and her heart twitch.

‘Thank you anyway.’


	12. Donderdag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // mention of vomiting at the end, implication of eating disorder

08/07/20 Donderdag 07:12

An alarm rang throughout the room. And normally, Noor would’ve been pissed off. She hated alarm clocks - they always meant early mornings, rushing around to get out. She always preferred to have a slow, easy morning to start her day, alas school unfortunately existed, making that not possible. But before her brain could become awake enough to get annoyed, she felt it. Or rather her. A body draped over hers. A head nestled in her neck. Two legs twisted through her own.  _ Engel _ . She smiled. The most beautiful girl in the world was lying practically on top of her. Her hair was strewn across her pillow but everything else was on Noor.

She stirred, reminding Noor that an alarm had just disturbed them. So carefully, she twisted to reach her phone. Once she'd switched the alarm off, she was sure to take the brightness all the way down to try not wake the sleeping beauty but she was too late.

'This is early for you isn't it?'

The sound of that voice was enough for Noor to put the phone down and switch her entire attention to Engel. She twisted back around and greeted the girl with a long and sweet good morning kiss.

'Morning,' she breathed against her lips. Smiles prevented them from reaching in for another kiss.

'What time is it?' Engel whispered. Noor suddenly remembered why she was up so early.

'7. Sander and Robbe said they'd virtually take me around an art museum today,' she explained. Engel smiled.

'That's so sweet of them,' she said.

'Not as sweet as you,' Noor said before kissing her again. A tongue slowly licked across her lower lip and arms moved further around, pulling each other closer.

'Don't…' Engel started in the middle of kisses. 'Don't you need to get up for that then?'

It was breathless as Noor was kissing down her neck. She groaned.

'Not until half past though,'

The next time they broke for air was when the phone began ringing.

'Fuck,' 

Engel, who had been straddling her, giggled, rolling off.

'I think your friends really want to show you the museum,' she said. She rolled out of bed and walked over to the blinds of her room, giving them some light.

'Come on! Answer it!' she said, cranking open a window. So begrudgingly, she did.

'I hope this is worth it. It's far too early over here,' she grumbled at Robbe.

'What time is it over there?'

'Half 7,'

He physically winced.

'Glad it's not me,'

Noor rolled her eyes.

'Who is it?' Engel called from across the room. Noor rolled her eyes, knowing that Engel was doing this for show.

'It's Robbe and Sander. They're showing me around a museum,'

Engel finally crawled back onto the bed. She gave Noor a look as if to ask if she could be introduced. Noor nodded with a smile, allowing Engel to poke her head into the frame. 

'Hi;' she chirped. Sander recognised her instantly.

'Hey, Engel was it?' he asked. It was difficult for Noor not to roll her eyes. She'd shown her friend so many pictures of her crush, she wouldn't be surprised if he could draw her from memory by now.

But Engel just smiled and nodded. 

'So um…' Robbe began. 'Everything going well?'

He raised his eyebrows and Noor instantly understood the hidden meaning. Whether it was from their conversation from the other day or perhaps how close Engel was to her. But she nodded and grinned, pulling Engel even closer to give her a kiss on the cheek. The blonde turned her head for a proper kiss that probably lasted too long for camera. When they pulled away, Noor scrambled to move the attention away, not wanting to have to talk too much about it. Because she would most definitely blush so hard if she talked about Engel. And Noor Bauwens didn’t blush.

'And you?' 

If it wasn't for feeling a little dizzy off of Engel's kisses, she would've implied another meaning into that.

'Yeah, it's super cool over here! The weather's good, the food's good - everything!'

'Everything?'

And again, if Noor hadn't still been recovering from that kiss, perhaps she would've noticed how the boy stopped to think about that word for a second before confirming it.

'Everything,'

'Shall we go then?' Sander asked, breaking the short silence that ensued.

11:25

After their virtual trip around the museum, the two had decided to visit the various markets Utrecht had to offer. First stop had been a candle stall, selling candles and soaps shaped and coloured like cakes.

‘These look so cool!’ Engel awed over the products whilst Noor had a different opinion.

‘I would definitely try eat that when I’m drunk,’

The stall owner laughed.

‘Yeah we do recommend to keep them out of reach of children,’ 

Noor smirked at the clerk comparing her drunk state similar to a child.

‘And drunk people?’ Engel chipped in.

‘And drunk people.’

Noor ended up purchasing a bar of lavender soap that was simply colourful and didn’t look like cake. Engel on the other hand shook her head.

‘I should use up the soap Janna got me first,’

Promising the stall owner a second visit, the couple carried on to the next stall.

Another point they stopped at during their shopping excursion was where Engel’s bakery stand had been at Christmas.

‘This exact spot. Here!’ she said, posing as she may have done when there was a tent around her.

‘Yeah?’

‘Yup!’

‘You still have a job with them this year?’

She shrugged.

‘Maybe. I mentioned that I was applying for places in Amsterdam and that’s how I got asked to look after their stall there so I don’t know,’ she explained. ‘I still wish they’d listened to me about making their cakes healthier though…’

Noor laughed, squeezing her hand.

‘Not everyone’s perfect,’

Engel suddenly stopped, cupped her face, and kissed her.

‘You are,’ she said with a grin and a linger gaze before carrying on walking. 

The grin couldn’t be wiped from Noor’s face with the strongest cloth and exfoliating combination out there, and the most skilled bug catcher couldn’t pin down the butterflies in her stomach.

Fingers stroking nails and so many gazes and glances, Noor felt like she was walking on clouds. She’d already fought the instinct to stop her for a kiss multiple times that day, it was beginning to get tiring. So at the next stall they stopped at, before going up to it, Noor was sure to give Engel a long and lasting kiss. There were smiles as well, making her go weak at the knees so she was glad Engel was still practically glued to her side when they pulled away and walked up to the stand. This stall sold flowers and plants. Maybe the plants sensed the girls’ good mood as they all bloomed as bright as ever. 

‘We should get some plants for the flat,’ Noor said, looking at a large snake plant around the corner from the till.

‘And some flowers! Put a vase on the dining table!’

Grinning, Noor pulled her in by the waist and pressed a chaste kiss on her cheek. She was never much of a forward thinker, always tried to stay present, but in that moment she couldn’t help but imagine their life in 2 months’ time. Waking up every day next to her, cooking meals together, picking out flowers together - she couldn’t wait.

‘You getting anything?’ Engel asked and she nodded.

‘Mm hm! Stay here, I’ll be back,’ she said, walking back around the corner to the till.

Perhaps 3 minutes later she returned with an arm around her back.

‘What did you get?’

Noor produced a single rose, dethorned and with a trimmed stem.

‘For you,’ she whispered, brushing away some blonde hair and tucking the flower behind her ear. A matching blush appeared on the apples of Engel’s cheeks as Noor let her hand slowly slide back down, brushing her cheek in the process.

‘So pretty,'

Engel glanced down, bashfully. Noor gave her a second before tilting her chin up so that they could look at each other once more.

‘Can I take a picture?’ 

She bore a toothy grin and nodded.

15:58

They picked up soup and sandwiches from a stall on the market and walked back to the riverside.

‘You know,’ Noor started. They sat on a bench, facing the glittering water. Engel rested her head on her shoulder as Noor threaded her fingers through her hair, gently combing it. Sandwiches had been long consumed and soup saved for dinner. They were simply admiring the view and each other’s presence. It was serenity.

Engel hummed to show that she was listening and Noor could feel the vibration against her neck, confirming what she knew she was going to say anyway.

‘I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about someone. Ever,’

A well-timed breeze gave a refreshing sense of contentment.

‘Not even Robbe?’

‘Not even close.’

She was so confident about this. It wasn’t like her to be this sappy or in love but she was. And she loved it.

‘I hope Robbe and Sander tell each other soon,’ Engel said and Noor laughed.

‘Literally everyone who knows them does,’

The blonde girl rolled a little closer and Noor could feel her chest move. She carried on.

‘But I suppose it’s hard. Especially if you’re good friends - you don’t want to ruin that,’

‘Didn’t you tell me that if they let it ruin your friendship, they’re not worth having as a friend?’

‘Yeah but it’s easier said than done isn’t it?’

She bit her lip, anxious as to how Engel would react to have knowingly been given shitty advice. It would’ve been out of character for her to get angry or mean or maliciously tease, but it was still a worry.

‘Would you have told me?’

Noor shrugged, relieved that she hadn’t instantly gone to any of the worst case scenarios.

‘Probably not,’ she admitted. ‘I thought you hated me after the other night,’ 

‘Hate you?’ Engel lifted herself off of Noor and faced her. ‘Why would I hate you?’

‘You know, when we were making pizza… We didn’t talk about it at all afterwards. I thought I’d gone too far,’

Her lip was beginning to hurt by how hard she was biting it but the pain was relieved when a hand came up and brushed her cheek.

‘Not far enough,’ Engel said, before kissing her. And she kissed back the way she would’ve done that night.

22:21

Noor was falling asleep on Engel’s shoulder as they watched a film on the sofa again.

‘You sleepy?’ Engel asked sweetly. Noor pouted and nodded. Engel kissed her pout.

‘Ugh, blame Sander and Robbe for making me get up so early,’

She laughed.

‘Okay. I’m going to march on over to Japan right now and yell at them. Wake them up early, see how  _ they _ like it,’ Noor grinned sleepily. ‘Would you like that?’

The black haired girl nodded.

‘Yeah,’

Engel sighed after another minute or so and shut the laptop. Noor barely hummed a question.

‘That’s it, let’s go to bed,’ she announced, standing up. Noor whined, reaching out weakly.

‘You’re not going to stay awake much longer and I’d rather cuddle with you on my bed than the couch,’

Noor nodded and stood up, grabbing her laptop, and followed Engel back into her bedroom. Engel puts the blanket they’d been using back into her cupboard as Noor puts her laptop away. 

‘I’m going to brush my teeth,’ Engel announced before picking up some pyjamas and swiftly leaving the room. If Noor’s brain had been a little more awake, she may have noticed something was off. But her sleepy head got her to carry on stripping down and pulling on some pyjamas. She then wandered down the corridor towards the bathroom. The door was locked so she figured Engel was doing her business so she waited patiently outside. Time passed and the bathroom door remained closed. And then she heard it. A sound - retching or gagging? She couldn’t find a word for it, but she recognised it and she was suddenly wide awake. 

‘Engel?’ she called, gently knocking on the door. ‘Engel, you okay?’

And again, another sound that shook her. A shaky breath. Fuck.

‘Can I come in?’ she asked. It was maybe a minute and a toilet flush later when the door unlocked. In front of her stood Engel wearing a smile. And she was truly just wearing it. Noor fought her instinct to pull her into a tight hug, knowing that might not be what she needed at that moment in time.

‘You okay?’

‘Mm hm!’ she said, a little too chirpily.

‘You sure? I heard retching…’ she said cautiously. Engel’s face panicked. Like it panicked. Her wide eyes froze and it looked clear that she was coming up with an excuse. Noor recognised this.

‘Something in your sandwich?’ she asked. Engel’s face unfroze 3 seconds later and she nodded. 

‘Yeah, must be. I’m okay now though,’ she said, very clearly overselling it. Knowing not to trod too much further, Noor decided to brush it off for now. ‘I’m done now though, you can use it if you’d like!’

And she disappeared down the hallway.


	13. Vrijdag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw // slightly smutty scene. Again, I'm too chicken to go full out but if you don't dig that, you can skip the last part.

09/07/20 Vrijdag 09:42

When she woke up the first thing she noticed was that she was alone. Or rather, there was nothing other than the sheets touching her. Once her brain woke up a little more, she knew she wasn’t alone in bed. Even though she couldn’t see her, she could feel the warmth. She turned around under the duvet to find Engel awake, staring at the ceiling. She shuffled a little closer and gently stroked her arm. And before she could try a morning greeting, she spoke.

‘I think we should break up,’

Noor’s heart stopped.

‘What?’

Her mind was momentarily blank as she tried to process what’d been said.

‘Why?’ she managed to whisper amidst her brain’s running thoughts.

‘Because,’ Engel began, still not looking at her. ‘You deserve better,’

Noor properly shifted onto her side, resting her head in her propped up arm.

‘Wh… What makes you think that?’

‘It’s just a fact. I’ve got so much baggage with my mum, my dad, m-...,’ 

The arm Noor had been stroking lifted towards her stomach.

‘And you… You deserve better,’

Noor hooked her thumb and index finger around her wrist.

‘Do I not get a say in this?’

‘Noor, I’m telling you-,’

‘And I’m telling you. You think I don’t have baggage as well?’

‘I don’t want to be a burden,’

‘You won’t be. Engel, I’ve known you since we were 3 - I know you,’

‘You don’t know everything,’ she whispered. Noor propped up her head on her arm.

‘I don’t have to,’

‘But if you knew-,’

‘It wouldn’t make a difference. I’ve had a crush on you since we were 13 - you know I know that you’re not just a pretty face. So long as you’re not a psychopath murderer, I don’t care,’

A small smile broke on her face.

‘Is that the only thing? What if… I was a thief?’

‘Well you are?’

‘Huh?’

‘You stole my heart,’

Engel laughed. And Noor’s heart soared. The blonde rolled over, lightly hitting her.

‘You walked into that one, come on!’

She giggled and rolled back to her pillow.

‘So what does this make us?’ she asked, turning her head slightly so that Noor was in her eye line. Noor ran the back of her finger down her cheek, tucking some hair behind her ear.

‘I’d really like you to be my girlfriend,’

Engel sighed, the smile dropping fast.

‘But you don’t know about…’

‘I don’t care,’ Noor cut across.

‘You’d change your mind,’

She wouldn’t, she knew she wouldn’t.

‘Try me,’

So she did.

19:22

‘Engel where are you going? You look beautiful!’ Noor yelled at her girlfriend who’d disappeared into the bathroom. She stood at the door, a bag hung around her shoulder. The blonde girl popped back out of the bathroom a minute later, wiping her mouth. Noor raised her eyebrows at her.

‘I just thought lipstick might not be a good idea tonight,’ she said, slipping into some shoes. ‘You know.. Food, kissing… anything else…’

Noor fought the blush on her face at the last comment and instead quirked her eyebrows.

‘Anything else? What did you have in mind?’

Engel simply shrugged before picking up her clutch and keys and headed out the door. Noor rolled her eyes and bit back any comments because whilst they would normally be a natural thing to spew, it didn’t feel so appropriate right now. Especially after this morning. 

There’d been a lot of speaking from Engel, talking about her troubles and struggles with her self image and her relationship with her body, and a lot of listening from Noor. A few tears were shed, but mostly it was understanding and communicating whilst holding onto each other as tightly as comfortable.

They stayed in bed until about noon and before properly getting out of bed, the two had decided to go on a date that evening.

'Now that we're officially girlfriends, I figure we should celebrate it!'

So after some debate, they'd decided on a small local restaurant. And they were late for the booking.

The restaurant was quaint and remote, but that's exactly what they needed. Accordion music played in the background, surprisingly considering it was a Thai restaurant, as they were shown to their seats.

'Have you told any of your friends yet?' Engel asked once they’d sat down and been given menus.

'About?'

'Us! Other than Sander and Robbe of course,'

Noor rolled her eyes.

'Not yet. I've been a bit distracted these past few days,'

'Mm? By who?'

'This really hot girl,'

'Oh?’ Engel placed her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands. ‘Should I be jealous?'

'100%,'

'Tell me about her,'

'Well… she has soft blonde hair that comes down just past her shoulders, she's got the prettiest eyes, she's currently wearing a gorgeous black dress, she's an amazing cook, and she makes me laugh and smile when I'm not feeling great, and she's honestly the most beautiful person I know,' she finished off. Then added, 'I wish she could see how beautiful she really is,'

There was a love drunk expression painted on Engel's face. Their hands rested in the centre of the table and they fiddled with each other's fingers.

'How are we doing, you two girls ready to order yet?'

A waitress broke the moment, notebook in hand. Noor scrambled to grab a menu.

'Er not yet. Could you give us 5 minutes?'

'Sure thing! Any drinks to get you started?'

They ended up ordering a jug of water for the table before returning to the menu.

‘Have you told your friends?’ Noor threw back. Engel looked up from the menu and shook her head quickly before looking back down.

‘Hey,’ Noor said, reaching for one of her hands. ‘You don’t have to tell them yet if you don’t want to,’

Engel lowered the menu.

‘I don’t know…’ she shrugged, ‘I think I want to - I can’t see them reacting badly, but…’

‘But…?’

‘I don’t know,’ she shrugged again. Noor smiled, stroking her thumb across the back of her hand.

‘That’s okay. You can tell them whenever you’re ready,’

A truly love drunk glance was shared before quickly returning to the menus so that they wouldn’t be interrupted again.

23:41

They'd skirted around  _ it _ for the first few heavy make out sessions but it was unavoidable now. When they left the restaurant, there was a look, a  _ glint _ in the eyes. And yet the kisses until the apartment had been fairly innocent and mostly closed lipped.

They were stood face to face in Engel's bedroom. The door was closed and the only lights were from lamp posts outside and Engel's pink heart shaped fairy lights.

'I'm nervous,' she admitted, confirming that they both knew what was meant to happen. Noor stepped a little closer, the lighted touch stroking up and down her arm.

'We don't have to do anything,'

'I've never done it with a girl,' she whispered.

'Me either,'

'Wait, but I thought you-?'

'We never went that far. Just steamy making out in a bed,' Noor explained sheepishly.

'I don't know where to start,'

'Kiss me,'

So she did. It started slow and sweet. Lips hugged each other and arms hugged torsos. She sucked on her lower lip and she pulled her impossibly closer. Kisses left lips and walked across her jaw towards her ear.

'You're so beautiful,' Noor whispered. Hands got buried in her hair as she kissed down her neck.

'Wait,' Engel breathed and Noor suddenly stopped, bringing her lips back to lip level.

'Everything okay?'

'Mm. Just… can you not leave a mark?' 

Noor smirked.  _ That  _ was what she was worried about.

‘Whatever you want,’

She kissed her chin and down the otherside of her neck carefully so to follow her request. She moved once more back to lip level. Her hands dragged up her body slowly and with purpose, the way Engel's body tensed as she did so told her everything she needed to know. She brought her hands to the top button of Engel’s dress.

‘Can I?’ she whispered. Engel nodded, resting her head on her shoulder. Shorter and shorter breaths blew down her spine. Her arms moved to hook around her neck as Noor slowly began unbuttoning the button down dress. She reached hip level and figured that was enough buttons. She trailed her fingers up her body, gently pushing the dress apart and Engel’s lips attached onto her neck, pressing fervent kisses the further her fingers pushed into the parting. Noor pushed the sleeves away and the dress fell to her feet. In that moment, Engel hooked her fingers around the straps of Noor’s dungaree dress, unhooking them swiftly. She began to push Noor towards the bed and as she did so, Noor swiftly pulled her shirt off and flung it across the room - she wouldn’t be needing that for a while. And then she hit the back of the bed, falling into a seated position, but that wasn’t enough. Engel climbed on top of her, pushing her back onto the bed. Tongues clashed and licked as hands grabbed hair. They could feel their stomachs tensing at the feeling. They were half aware of the fact that Noor still had clothing on that wasn't underwear. So Engel had the mission at the back of her head to get rid of them as soon as possible. But when their lips met once more, it was difficult to stay focused, and honestly, the feeling of the sheer material against bare skin was kinda hot.

Eventually the kisses walked further down her body. Her hands found the waistband of Noor's tights and slowly unpeeled them, attempting to prolong the whole experience. Attempt being the keyword as once she glanced up at the dark haired girl, they were off in a heartbeat. She couldn’t help it, she couldn’t resist. Neither of them could. 

‘Fuck Engel,’ 

‘Hmm?’ the girl hummed, kissing up her leg. Noor’s hands found their way to the blonde’s locks. She pulled her back up to kiss her, not wanting her lips to stay stagnant much longer. Tongues clashes. It was hot. She bit her lip, she pulled her hair. Noor rolled them around, straddling Engel. She peppered kisses on her collarbone, edging towards the brim of her bra.

‘Please,’ Engel breathed, her hands roaming Noor’s back. Suppressing a shiver, Noor carefully ran her tongue along the skin by the fabric. Engel gasped. Cupping the fabric, Noor pushed herself closer into her. Legs tangled around calves and thighs. 

Underwear was hanging off the bed, moans, groans, and heavy breathing filled the flat, and when the climax hit, far too early for their liking, they dissolved into one another with pleasurable sighs and giggles.

Noor’s heart was racing and she could feel ghost pulsing. Her head lay in the crook of Engel’s neck, who had her arms wrapped around her naked body with one hand stroking the side of her breast and the other fiddling with her ear piercings. Warm air breezed over her face as she snuggled closer. 

‘That’s was amazing,’

The words floated into Noor’s ear. She nodded, unable to form a full sentence yet. Instead she continued to inhale and exhale, slowing her heartbeat. It could’ve been seconds or minutes or hours when she finally found the energy to respond.

‘That was your  _ first _ time? You sure you haven’t done it before?’ 

Noor could feel Engel’s chest sharply move up and down.

‘Nope. Only you,’

And then she pulled away a little, tilting to see her lover’s face. The red cheeks, blown out pupils, and slightly swollen lips triggered the most loving smile she could muster up. They were drunk on love and fell asleep, whispering sweet nothings into the night.


	14. Zaterdag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh almost finished! Also a not-so-subtle hint at my vague plans for fic writing next year at the end.  
> Enjoy!

10/07/20 Zaterdag 09:48

She was well rested and physically ready to start the day, but Noor did not want to leave the bed. Not yet at least. Not while there was a beautiful girl lightly snoring away next to her. As her gaze fell on Engel, her heart fluttered. They hadn’t bothered closing the blinds the night before so golden light shone through and bathed the lovers in an ethereal beam, painting Engel as the true angel she was.

In that moment Noor couldn’t help but start to think in retrospect of her time in Belgium. So much had happened. 

Timo, for example. He’d been a summer sweetheart and first kiss. They met on her second day of the country. Her parents had allowed her to take a walk to the local park. She’d been sat on a bench, texting Engel ironically, when he came over. He was sweet and Noor thought it was love, though looking back she could see that she probably projected her newly developed crush on Engel onto him. But it was doomed to end and they both knew that before they started. And perhaps it was because she was projecting her crush that she was surprisingly okay with it. Then there was school. Fitting in had been easier than expected. She’d been able to find a group of people to call friends and settled. Two summers later she met Britt at summer camp. They quickly became best friends and when she introduced her boyfriend, Noor almost felt bad for getting along so well with Sander. Having heard about the relationship drama Britt had experienced the year before, she was conscious to not hang out with him too often - she figured hanging out at the midnight spray sessions didn’t count. Then Robbe happened. To say that her and Robbe’s relationship didn’t change her life would be a lie. When they first made out, she was worried she was just going to be another hook up for him, barely. But he wasn’t. He was sweet and kind, even though he used her. And even when he broke up with her, he was still so careful. It would also be a lie if his compliments, his words of encouragement, didn’t boost her confidence in the long term, being “the most awesome person” he knows. It’d been such a significant point in her life, she would say that her teenage life was split by time before Robbe and after Robbe. That was until Engel texted her way back into her life. When that first text had come through, Noor quite literally dropped her phone on the floor - her phone case had a crack to prove it. As her crush grew and grew again, and especially after the events of the past week, Noor figured she’d have to add a 3rd time stamp to her teenage life, with Engel.

She’d been thinking so much, that she didn’t even notice the sleeping angel next to her slowly blink her droopy eyes open. Nor the first smile of the day. But she got the second, and third, and god knows how many more there’d be. 

‘How are you feeling?’ she asked her after placing two soft kisses - one on her lips and one on her forehead.

‘So good,’ she sighed, cupping Noor’s face for another kiss. Or three. ‘How are you?’

The fourth and fifth kiss was enough of an answer.

During the night their heads had drifted to separate pillows so they closed the gap, tucking the sheets further around them. The sensation of bare bodies touching was still exciting. This time Engel rested her head on Noor’s chest, as Noor’s arms cradled and caressed her body. It was peace.

Until a phone rang - recognisable Engel’s ringtone. She groaned as Noor chuckled. The sound was coming from the pile of clothes on the floor.

‘You can get it. I’m not going anywhere,’

So reluctantly, Engel pulled herself from the comfortable embrace. She cursed as she answered the phone.

‘Fuck I’m so sorry Liv!’ she said, sitting down on the bed. Missing the weight of a body in her arms, Noor crawled over to where she sat and placed a kiss on her shoulder.

‘No, everything’s fine, I just overslept. Um…’

Noor had wrapped her legs around her waist from behind. Her hand snaked around, tracing patterns everywhere, as the shoulder kisses got sloppier. Engel let out a shaky breath.

‘I don’t think I’ll make it this morning. I er...,’

Fingers brushed over a nipple.

‘I’ll explain later. Bye,’

She spun around and pinned Noor to the bed with a kiss.

‘That was Liv, Noor,’

They rolled over so that Noor was on top.

‘And?’ she asked, busying herself by pressing kisses across her collarbones.

‘I missed yoga,’ she said, pouting. Noor stopped.

‘Ah fuck that was today wasn’t it? Sorry,’ 

She moved off of Engel but Engel was quick to follow.

‘No no, don’t apologise! I should’ve cancelled when I saw you in that dress last night,’

She sat on her lap, running her hands across her shoulders.

‘I wear that all the time,’

Their noses were touching, lips less than an inch away from each other.

‘Yeah but you looked extra hot yesterday,’ Engel leant in to gently bite Noor’s lip, who made a small surprised sound at the move.

'Could say the same about you,' Noor whispered back after an intimate kiss. ‘What do you want to do now?’ she murmured against her lips.

‘Mm… I could do with a shower… Care to join?’

13:20

‘They’re going to love you Noor! Don’t worry!’ Engel said. The two girls were heading to the milkshake bar that’d been the location of their first date to meet Engel’s friends.

‘I’m not worried,’ Noor insisted.

‘Mm hm? That’s why you’ve been stopping blood circulation to my hand for the past 5 minutes right?’

She bit her lip and sighed.

‘I just want them to like me. I’ve stolen you away for a week, what if they resent me for that?’

They arrived just outside the bar and inside Noor could see a group of teenagers, about their age - probably Engel’s friends - but before they went inside, she stopped them.

‘Noor,’ Engel began, hands on her arms and facing her. Noor was bracing herself for a comment about being a cool person or spraying or having tattoos. That’s what people would normally say when she got anxious, and she supposed they had a point. She was not a shy person. But it was frustrating how it was becoming everyone’s response. Sometimes she didn’t want to be confident and she hated feeling pressured to be so.

‘It’s okay to be nervous,’

What?

‘I mean, I’m nervous too. That’s okay,’

That was new. It was brand new. There had never been anyone who’d given her that. Who’d given her permission to be not strong - and god did it make her fall even deeper. But what else did she expect from Engel? The beautiful angel sent down to put up with her.

Noor smiled. She desperately wanted to kiss her, but knowing that her friends could probably see them, and how she’d just expressed her nerves, she thought better of it.

‘Come on,’

Hands clasped they walked towards the group of teenagers Noor had spotted.

‘Engel!’ 

A curly haired girl jumped out from the semi-circular booth to tackle her. Engel instantly hugged her back.

‘You’ve been M.I.A. this whole week!’

‘Sorry Is,’

The girl, Is, or Isa is Noor could recall correctly, sat back down into the booth.

‘Um guys,’ Engel began, tugging Noor closer by the wrist. Noor looked over at her, curious as to how she’d be introduced. Would Engel be ready to come out this second? Or would they have to fake a “just friends” status for a while?

‘This is Noor, my er…’ fingers intertwined, ‘my girlfriend,’

Isa’s mouth dropped, as did the stubbled guy’s who sat at the edge, echoing Noor’s surprise, although probably for a different reason. The darker skinned girl simply grinned and the boy sat next to her raised his eyebrows. Isa was the first one to recover.

‘Well sit down then!’

The couple shuffled onto the remaining space on the curved couch, awaiting questions. As they did so, Noor made sure to give her girlfriend a reassuring squeeze of the hand. Proud didn’t begin to cover what she felt.

‘Is this why…?’ the darker skinned girl asked. Engel nodded, blushing a little.

‘Why what?’ Isa asked. ‘What Liv?’

‘Er nothing, just… She cancelled some plans earlier,’

Is’ mouth turned into an O shape before she raised her eyebrows.

‘Had  _ other _ plans huh?’

Engel batted away the nudges and Noor could see the blush on her cheeks even more prominent.

‘Nah we were too tired from our other plans,’ Noor quickly saved her stuttering girlfriend. Well  _ save _ as a loose term. The reaction was perfect.

‘I like her!’ Isa announced. 

‘Well she’s mine,’ Engel flung her arms around Noor and stuck out her tongue, causing more barrels of laughter.

‘How long…?’ Liv asked, waggling her finger between the two.

‘Us?’ 

‘Mm,’

‘Since Wednesday,’

There was no need to mention their almost break up the day before.

‘And how long… have you… have you liked…?’ the boy opposite Noor, on the other side of the couch, asked. The question was clearly for Engel but this time Noor truly saved her.

‘Why, you interested?’

‘What!? No-I-,’ the stubbled boy spluttered but the rest of the table laughed.

‘It doesn’t matter,’ Liv announced. ‘What matters is-,’

‘Is what Noor thinks of our fries,’ Isa jumped in, pushing her carton of fries towards her. ‘You’re the Belgian right?’

Noor smirked and shook her head.

‘I’m from Utrecht. But been living in Antwerp for the past 4 years,’

‘Antwerp?’ was the first thing the boy next to Liv said.

‘Yeah Antwerp. Why?’

He shrugged.

‘No reason, just have a friend there that’s all,’

‘Lucas, Antwerp’s the 2nd biggest city in Belgium - she won't know him,'

Noor shrugged. Although the likelihood was low, but as teenagers go, she knew a fair amount of people.

'Try me,'

'Alright er he's called Jens?'

No way. Noor and Engel shared a look, the latter recognising the name.

‘Er… Stoffels? Tall, dark hair?’

Lucas raised his eyebrows in surprise, nodding.

Noor quickly unlocked her phone and opened up her messages with Robbe. The latest picture he'd sent had been from Tuesday of him and the boys in some trippy cafe. The boy himself was trapped between Sander and-

'Him?' she offered. Lucas' eyes widened.

'What the fuck? Yeah that's him,'

'What was that about Noor not knowing everyone in Antwerp?' the boy next to Lucas teased Is with. Noor showed the picture around.

'Wow he's hot,' Is said. 'He single?'

Noor smirked.

'I think so - honestly it's tiring enough keeping up with Robbe and Sander,'

'Who?'

'The two next to Jens,'

'Why, what's up with them?'

'They've been high key flirting with each other for 18 months. That's what's up,'

'And that's a problem?' Lucas asked. Noor shifted her gaze back over to the blue eyed boy - his eyes were noticeably blue - and recognised something in his tone and look. Something that reminded her of-

'No, they're just taking forever to get together,' Engel answered for her.

'Robbe's gay?'

Noor nodded.

'Hm. Jens never mentioned it,'

'It's not really his to mention though,'

'I suppose,' 

A slightly uncomfortable quiet settled among the new friends. The way he sat, the way he was  _ casually _ asking questions like that. Everything just reminded Noor of the Robbe she dated. She tried to come up with something to say - she really did. But before her brain could figure it out, a waitress came around to take their order.

17:50

It’d been a fun filled day. At just before 6pm, the lovers decided to call it a day.

'I'm stealing her for a few days longer,' Noor explained before realising she hadn't confirmed that with her parents yet. 'Which reminds me I should probably call my parents,'

Engel rolled her eyes and the others made comments about meeting the parents.

'I can meet you outside?' Engel suggested as Noor moved to leave. She nodded and slipped out of the cafe.

‘Look who finally decided to call,’ her dad joked as him and his wife appeared on the screen. Noor smiled, raising her phone so that she was in frame as well.

‘Sorry,’

‘You’re enjoying yourself then?’ 

Noor nodded.

‘When are you getting back tomorrow?’

‘About that…’ Noor began. ‘Er Engel’s mum is staying for another week and her dad can’t get back til Friday so I offered to let her stay with us. Is that okay?’

‘Of course!' Her mum smiled. 'Is she coming back with you tomorrow? I’ll pull out the fold up bed-,’ her mum began chatting away but Noor stopped her, realising that she should probably update them on the current status of their relationship.

‘Actually you don’t need to do that,’

‘Oh?’

‘Yeah um…' she began, anxiously fiddling with the zip on her jacket. It wasn't as if she was expecting a bad response - like she told Engel, everyone in the Bauwens household was chill about that kind of thing. When she was 10, her parents quickly stopped the whole "find your prince" narrative and switched to a "find someone that'll make you happy" one. So they would be fine. But there were still some nerves with regards to exactly how they'd react. And also how to word it properly. So she tried. 'Well me and Engel, we um… We’re… together?’

Whilst her dad bore an expression of confusion, her mum gasped.

‘Finally!’

‘What?’ Both Noor and her dad questioned.

‘You can’t think we didn’t notice you getting smiley at your phone ever since you two got back in contact,’

Noor looked down bashfully. She clearly hadn’t been as subtle as she thought she was being.

‘You mean you,’ her husband inputted, finally understanding what "together" meant.

‘Well yes, mothers always have better intuition,’ she winked. Noor laughed. ‘Oh you’ll have to tell us all about it - even more excuse to get the house tidy!’

Noor grinned as her dad’s groaned at the prospect of having to clean the house. And that was when the cafe door swung open, revealing Engel and her friends. Her friends hugged her and waved goodbye.

‘Hey Noor, make sure to send Engel back with fries!’ Isa yelled as the group headed down the street. Noor laughed and waved back.

‘Who’s that?’ her dad asked.

‘Oh just some of Engel’s friends,’ 

Her mum squealed.

‘Ooh can we meet her?’

‘Who? Engel?’

‘Yeah!’

Noor was confused.

‘You’ve met her before,’

‘I know but not as your girlfriend,’

She rolled her eyes.

‘Nope! You can wait for tomorrow,’

‘But-,’

‘Tomorrow,’

‘But-,’

Luckily, her dad stepped in before her mum would start begging further.

‘Alright, let’s let the girls enjoy their evening. We’ll see you tomorrow!’

‘Bye!’

Noor hung up and pocketed her phone, noticing her girlfriend stood about a metre or so away. She reached her arms out, making grabby hands, and the two met halfway. 

‘Everything okay?’ Engel asked as their arms looped around each other, resting comfortably. They nudged their noses together to eliminate as much space between them as possible. Noor nodded and smiled happily.

‘Everything’s just perfect.’


	15. Zondag

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's still Sunday somewhere in the world so let's pretend that I didn't upload this 7 minutes late!  
> But thank you for sticking and reading along with this - it was way more difficult than I had anticipated as I just happened to be super busy these past few weeks but it happened! And if you're reading this a little later on down the line, thank you and I hope you've enjoyed it!  
> TFOTB will have it's final update some point next week then that'll be it for full chaptered fics for me this year.  
> Thank you! :)

11/07/20 Zondag 10:57

Even though they had a train just past lunch time to catch, the lovers didn’t hesitate in taking their time that morning, cherishing having a totally empty flat. Making slow, sweet love in the golden morning light was far more enjoyable than either of them expected it to be. And when they finally pulled themselves out of bed, the task for the day, other than travelling back to Antwerp, had been decided: baking. Engel insisted on baking something to bring to Noor’s parents.

‘Babe, they know who you are, it’s not as if it’s your first time meeting them!’

‘Yeah but it’s my first time meeting them as your girlfriend so I want to make a good impression!’ she said.  _ Girlfriend _ . That word still felt a bit weird - a good weird. ‘And also, don’t call me babe,’

‘Ah fuck, sorry - what do you prefer?’

‘No,’ Engel looked down, busying herself with pouring out some flour. ‘Just, don’t call me that in front of them, is what I mean,’

Noor smirked, raising her eyebrows.

‘Oh,’ she slid across so their sides were stuck. ‘It turns you on huh?’

She blushed. Noor leant closer.

‘Babe,’ she whispered into her ear as seductively as she could. Engel put the bag of flour down and took a deep inhale and exhale before turning to her girlfriend.

‘That,’ she spoke quietly, hooking her arms around her neck, ‘is what you can’t do when we’re in front of your parents,’

‘Okay. What about now,  _ babe _ ?’

She sighed into a short kiss.

‘Now,’ and another kiss, ‘we need to make food,’ and she went back to weighing out ingredients. Rolling her eyes, Noor followed suit.

‘I can do breakfast then?’

Engel opened her mouth to respond but Noor cut across. 

‘Before you say anything, that was a rhetorical question. I’m making breakfast,’ 

Her conviction was enough for Engel not to argue

13:22

Liv was waiting at the station as the two lovers arrived.

‘Liv! What are you doing here?’ Engel seemed genuinely surprised at the presence of her friend. Liv shrugged.

'Just wanted to see you off! We haven’t hung out in a while,’ she explained. So the trio walked into the station and over to a ticket machine to purchase a train ticket for Engel. The blonde girl stepped forward to do so. Noor noticed that she and Liv were stood far back enough for them to have a conversation without Engel hearing. And as soon as Liv began moving her mouth to speak, Noor smirked.

‘You going to give me the best friend talk?’ she asked. Liv laughed, shaking her head.

‘No, I think you already know. I just wanted…’ she sighed. ‘I’m really happy for you two, you know?’

Noor smiled.

‘Thanks,’

A quiet lulled in their conversation. Around them people rushed to and fro from shops to the station to the exit. It was a comforting hustle and bustle. One that said “life’s still happening” but allowed there to be quiet at the same time. So Noor heard Liv breathe in before she spoke.

‘It’s just… I… I think I see her as my little sister really,’ she began. ‘And I’ve probably been too overprotective in the past but… She’s tougher than she seems you know?’

Noor smiled knowingly. She’d of course heard all about the drama between her and Liv and Liv’s now boyfriend, and would probably agree with Liv in saying that she’d been too overprotective. But decided that it was good that she was aware.

‘I know,’ she said, looking over.

‘Just…’ Liv trailed off again. It was clear something was on her mind but the words weren’t quite forming. ‘I don’t know. I felt like I ought to say something or introduce myself. Get to know each other, all that…’ She understood and the feeling was mutual. It felt a bit odd to meet Engel’s friends for just a little bit before probably not seeing them for a long time and considering they were her girlfriend’s friends, she wanted to make an effort and get to know them. 

‘I’ll find you on instagram,’ Noor offered. ‘How about that?’

Liv grinned and nodded but before they could begin to swap handles, Engel was done.

‘Hey!’ she chirped, waving a ticket around. ‘All done!’

‘Well, I suppose you’d better go then,’ Liv said, just in time for the announcement of their train to echo through the hall.

‘I guess I should,’

The lovers linked their hands together, picked up bags and began to head off before Liv stopped them.

‘Hey um… Don’t be a stranger yeah?’

‘Of course! I’ll call you when I get there,’ Engel said. Then Liv’s gaze switched over to Noor.

‘You too Noor,’

She grinned.

‘Wouldn’t want you missing me too much!’

18:09

‘So this is Antwerp huh?’ Engel said after walking for a few minutes away from the station.

‘Mm hm! What do you think?’

She shrugged.

‘It’s very pretty. The buildings all look cool and the station was beautiful,’

Noor nodded.

‘Yeah, it’s pretty cool I guess,’

‘Ooh, you know what?’ Engel tapped her arm. ‘It kinda reminds me of that station from Hugo,’

‘Hugo?’

‘Yeah, the film with Asa Butterfield,’

She shook her head and Engel gasped.

‘What!? That’s it, I will not leave until we watch it,’ she insisted. Noor laughed, throwing an arm around her shoulder.

‘You going to stay prisoner in my room then?’

Engel hummed. They both then seemed to have the same idea as they leant in for a kiss but bumped noses instead.

‘Ow,’ she pulled away giggling and Noor saw this as an opening to quickly steal that kiss. They would’ve stopped and simply made out on the street if it wasn’t for the knowledge that they had Noor’s parents waiting not too far away for them to come home. So they let it be.

As they walked home, a sudden wave of nostalgia hit. Perhaps it was from the two big parts of her life clashing into a new one. There was her childhood and early summer evenings when she and Engel would walk home from the park or the pool or the shops, hand in hand. And there was her more recent time in Belgium, hanging out with her school friends at the cinema or some bar, warm late nights spraying with Sander, Robbe. It was everything. And suddenly she just felt overwhelmed with love and sadness and emotion. There wasn’t really a word for it and she couldn’t quite put her finger on why, but a tear rolled down her cheek. 

‘Hey, you okay?’ Engel’s voice made her snap back to reality. Well it wasn’t really a snap because the magical atmosphere was still there.

Just looking at her lover’s, her  _ girlfriend’s _ face made her think that maybe this was happiness. Pure, unadulterated happiness. It was home and love and magic. And so she replied,

‘Yeah. Just… everything, right now in this moment with you, everything feels magical.’

**Author's Note:**

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